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4 posts from July 2008

July 25, 2008

Context is Everything

My world is full of people I see out of their context. Being myopic sets me up for judging others, withholding love, arrogance… I view them as dorks… I rock.

If I understood/saw a person’s context… their glory, I’d be stunned, amazed, humbled and so aware of the diversity of God’s people. Context is everything.

Sig Hansen is captain of the Northwestern. He’s a tough SOB in the wheel house of his crab boat a couple of hundred miles NE of Dutch Harbor on the vast and unpredictable Bering sea … he’s taking on 50 foot waves, brutal weather, freezing spray that adds tons of ice to his ship making it dangerously top heavy… he’s top dog of some pretty tough sea-dogs, a few greenhorn slackers… he’s a man’s man.

Why was I so startled in the final episode of Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch as the crabbing season ends and Sig walks away from his boat on the wharf, on land… and he looks so pedestrian, so normal…actually nerdy… he’s no longer a sea captain commanding the seas… he might as well be former librarian in between jobs filling in at the auto parts store till he finds something more permanent… a mid-west physical education teacher who’s lost his heart and is just passing time till he retires in another fifteen years. His walk, pace, size, his “look” suddenly stands out on shore in ways they didn’t 200 miles off the Siberian Coast in a Winter gale… he’s out of his context and looks so… different, so, not himself… you would never know what he’s capable of / what he does.

The professor I idolized as a 25 year old seminarian I bump into at a conference at Pasadena Nazarene twenty years later. I sat in Dr. James Pucssor's (Not his real name) class willing to give my left testicle/thumb/ear-lobe to be like him. His knowledge of the Word of God, the reverent way he turned the pages in his Bible, the patient soft spoken yet authoritative way he responded to the arrogant and foolish challenges we threw at him. He was Jesus Christ slicing and dicing every errant exposition and theology lacking the full backing of Scripture. He was a swordsman. But there on the patio decades later as we chatted he was a relational cripple. He could no more relax and interact with people than I could do an Iron Cross. So out of his context… so capable somewhere else, but here a relational zero.

The cowboy at Chicago O’hare who looks so very out of place among the business commuters flying United flight #1694 to Los Angeles. The flight is delayed. His hat, the belt buckle; the way he stands, the wrinkles on his face, the strength of his hands… every stinking thing about this man exudes confidence, manliness. He’s sitting on the floor leaning up against the wall at gate B42. I decide to sit next to him and see if I can stealthily hear a bit of his story.

And bingo, we began a conversation… I’m mesmerized. He speaks slowly, an economy of words… nothing fancy, nothing pretentious; he’s in no hurry, unfazed by the frantic anxieties of the commuters surrounding him; his voice is deep, everything about him is understated. It’s the Rock of Gibraltar with a voice. He works on a 10,000 acre cattle ranch in the Dakota’s. He and his blue heeler spend weeks at a time out tending the herd; there’s stories of thunder and lightening, mountain lion, stampedes, weeks seeing no human… dark cold starlit nights. . Whoa… I’m a twelve year old sitting at the feet of a man.

I’m in my Nordstrom buttoned-down-collar oxford, wide wale cords… I’ve got my brief case… I’m a pastor in a mega-church who spends most of my 40 weekly hours in meetings word-smithing mission statements… intervening in an argument between two committees about the color of the “Sanctuary” carpet… I know how to organize a garage and put things in labeled zip lock baggies. This guy doesn’t fit in my world nor I in his… but this is the guy I’d want by my side in any crisis. We’d…. he’d survive anything thrown at him… us, without flinching. This is the guy I want to be. But, here, at Gate B42, he’s in my world… in this world he’s looks the dork…and I rock!

And you… what’s your context? What’s true about you that others would never know because they haven’t seen you in your context?

Look around. Who, not knowing your context views/misunderstands you as a dork when, in your context... you ROCK!!?

– Craig McConnell (Journal Entry)

July 21, 2008

Tuesday

Last Wednesday most of the men of Ransomed Heart… (sounds like a potential calendar)… went on a night hike up to The Crags above Colorado Springs. It was cloudy and windy. Someone mentioned it probably wasn’t a great idea to be huddled on the top of an exposed Crag with lightening off in the distance… (party pooper)… so we hiked out without enjoying a good cigar together as we had hoped.

It was good… it is good to be together as men.

Thursday I had a brief telephone conversation with John who was calling from some mountain ridge in the boon docks of N.W. Colorado while on vacation. The wind was howling and so was I. I love that guy!

We need friends… I have a few… they’re scattered about the country…I’m smiling just thinking about em.

Ty PenningtonOn Friday Morgan organized a work crew of the men at Ransomed Heart… (sounds less like a potential calendar)… to clean up, organize and redecorate one of the lower level rooms at our Outpost that has been “neglected”.

Morgan, apparently having watched Extreme Make Over: Home Edition was our Ty Pennington…. leading the charge with a flair that could be described as nouveau Pittsburgh. It's a crack up seeing 7 men, all of them leaders, in a 15X15 room bumping into one another; shouting out orders/advice while cleaning, fixing the ceiling, organizing cupboards, hanging pictures, mounting rifles, swords and an array of memoralbila…. it was great!

I work with a bunch of knuckle-heads… knuckle-heads with varying levels of aesthetics and taste. I wouldn’t want to work with anyone else. Not even Ty Pennington.

On Saturday several of us (men and women, friends and spouses)… went to PJ’s Workout Boot Camp. (As I write this Monday PM…. several are still very sore… can you spell ALEX, SUE, MORGAN?). It was a brutal as PJ tried, in 60 minutes, to turn us into Navy SEALS... he worked us. We were heaving heavy balls, doing push-ups, "explosive" lunges, some-kind-of-full-body-torture-thingie, we were runnin, huffin and a puffin… we were racing, jumping, doing rapid squats, heaving more heavy balls…you get the picture.

It was good to suffer together in some shared mission… it’s good to be friends-who-also-work-together… and we thank God for Ibuprofen.

Sunday Am… several of us and a few friends had a brunch with Julie J. and her “friend”, AKA Robert. Getting to know Julie, she wanted him to taste a little bit of her community as well. Ahhh… Monkey Bread, quiche, mimosa, fresh fruit, earthy coffee and wonderful conversation and laughs.

Lots and lots of laughs. It is good to laugh… laugh with others... and share a meal together.

Today… Monday. Kind of an ordinary day… I got an appointment with the Fremont Court mixed up…. it’s tomorrow… I thought it was today… wore my khaki pants and blue Oxford button down collar shirt for nothing… (it was regarding a traffic ticket… okay, okay I was speeding; BUT it was the last hour of a 19 hour drive back from L.A….. and I had to pass a slow moving garbage truck before the passing lane ended… State Patrol wouldn’t give me a break. I should have had my old “clergy” bumper sticker!?#$?).

I had another telephone conversation with John… who was once again on some mountain crest that had AT&T coverage... we covered my "Things to Discuss With John Check List" in about 14 minutes. Checking in is good... vacations are good.

I missed a conversation with Kevin in Manassas, got caught up on email (what happened to my New Year’s Resolution to answer every email within a week?!#$%&*?!). Had some meetings, enjoyed conversation and an iced Americano with Sue at Starbucks… yapped a bit with Bart in So. CA.; interrupted a meeting Paul was having by cracking a joke that bombed… read a bit of a book someone sent me and encouraged Brad to take a sick day after being thrown from his bike during a lunch time ride. With those scrapes and that 4 inch bump on his forehead he will definetly not be at the Men of Ransomed Heart Calendar photo shoot tomorrow… Tuesday.

– Craig McConnell

July 13, 2008

Chest-less-rats-for-men

We took a week to vacation with our friends and family over the Fourth in So. Cal. On Sunday Lori and I attended the church my son-in-law is planting in Redlands. As it happens he’s teaching on one of my Top 10 Most Disruptive Things Christ Said/Did

Christ says:

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven…If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

- Matthew 5

My first reaction is along the lines of, “Love your enemies!” Yeah, right… It’s hard enough loving my wife who I do profoundly love and who loves me like no other”. Are you serious? It’s so easy to dismiss this passage! And yet I cannot for God is very present.  

My second reaction:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx!?#%*&?!xxxxxxx!?#%*&?!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay… all of that to say I’ve written a paragraph… a lengthy paragraph giving my second reaction but can’t include it. God won’t let me.

It may be my best writing…it’s a sharp/terse detailed paragraph describing a couple of low life weasels that I consider enemies. Using names, dates and collaborating witnesses I lay out their offenses against both me and the God who judges the living and the dead righteously (I mean, after all is said and done… it’s their offense against God that most offends me.)

Well, in any case… God won’t let me include that paragraph… He simply, kindly yet firmly and continually redirects my focus from these chest-less-rats-for-men… these wolves posing as sheep who’s misbehavior  have done harm to me and my family (and many others) to this conditional-loving-no-better-than-a-pagan nice guy.

God points out that I’m more concerned with their failures to live well than mine…while He seems more concerned with my failures than theirs.

It’s so disrupting that I’m apparently the center of his attention and NOT them… does he not know the full story?!

Quite honestly if it’s an enemy worth his salt one feels pretty justified in being smug, judging, hating, bad mouthing, avoiding and pondering all the “upsides” to retaliation. I do.

Yet God will not let me go there… he is speaking to something within me… he’s calling out some true part of me. This passage can’t be set aside as a description of life in a distant and other-worldly millennium! It’s descriptive of a life in the here-and-now transformed by the full work of Christ… the Gospel!

Might it actually be possible to live holy… loving lives? Can we genuinely in some form or fashion love our enemies? To live free from the control others misbehavior/sin/hatred/meanness seems to have upon us?

So much of my life is shaped by the formula: I love those who love me; I hate those who hate me. Love me and I’ll love you, hate me and I’ll hate you. How you live your life has greater influence over me than God.

There’s another way to live and it is really, really, really possible… and I want to live that life. I’d love for my enemies to change; God ‘s insisting that I do.

Love means to love that which is unlovable, or it is no virtue at all.

- G.K. Chesterton

July 08, 2008

Julie M.

Julie M Christmas 07 (4)

She has a laugh, a distinctive laugh… it’s disarming and inviting… it has “Welcome, relax, life is good” woven in and out of it.

Julie Musilli has a way about her… a presence…it’s delightful, warm, easing… winsome… she is a “called alongside one”… she’s all there and all that is there is good.

Her Outpost office has been a center, the meeting place, the gathering place for Staff. In her cozy office is a well placed overstuffed chair that beckons you “Come, sit, share, rest… it’s safe here”. Particularly but not exclusively for the women, it’s there that we find some soulful oxygen, a nourishment of kindness and care, for solace, counsel… even strength. Julie listens, listens well and offers words… if needed courageous words of clarity. Julie is relationally intuitive… insightfull, fully engage… her curiosity/questions are always gentle in exposing the deeper/core issues beneath our perplexities. She brings hope.

In so many ways Julie is full of life, actually she’s overflowing with life.

Julie is with child and will birth Josiah in early August; and so she leaves Ransomed Heart to mother a boy as many an older boy wishes he had been. Julie is a good mother… a life giver. Josiah is blessed.

We have been.

We are so very happy for her in our loss of her.

(Picture is of Julie and her husband PJ)

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