Little Much
So this guy interrupts Christ perturbed that his brother is unlawfully withholding his portion of the family inheritance… I’d be pissed too.
Someone in the crowd said to Him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me." But He [Jesus] said to him, "Man, who appointed Me a judge or arbitrator over you?" Then He said to them, "Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions." - Luke 12:13-15
Do you see it? This guy comes with a legitimate complaint about his brother expecting the Peace Maker to do his thing. But Jesus refuses to go after the offensive law-breaking-inheritance-withholding brother.
Instead of confronting the obvious sinner, Jesus goes after the heart of the apparent “Victim”, the perturbed brother, warning him of the issues in his life… greed, the idolatry of material security…
One of the justifications I make in failing/refusing to offer my strength, love… or gifting is because of the offenses of others. You don’t love me, I don’t love you… neener neener neener!
The often legitimate faults/failures/sins/defects/abrasive-relational-style of another is my justification to not be the man, the lover God intended me to be. The man I truly am.
And so… while railing against others He often allows me to rant and then with sympathetic warmth interrupts me saying something along the lines of, “You know what really disturbs me about the whole situation?”
Still miffed* and expecting His affirmation of the injustice done, i ask, “What?”.
Without hesitation He responds, “You”. “Your hiding/sin… your little boy approach to life.”
And then the invitation to learn and know in a much deeper way, His great love, forgiveness, delight in me and call to live a holy, loving life.
(How many times i have learned this lesson… over and over, each time on a little deeper level? AGHHHHHH………)
“…he who has been forgiven little loves little." [And he who has been forgiven much loves much… ]
Read Luke 7:36-50.
And why don’t you love?
– Craig McConnell
Notes:
* “Miffed” = A self protective editing choice… personal synonyms would be: enraged, vengence seeking, calling-down-lightening angry…
Outed again!!! Craig your words just seem to have a way of making me actually confront my own issues, rather than just read your stuff and congratulate you for such great insight. This is totally where I am with so many of my co-workers....and I have been wondering why I have such a hard time getting them to work with/for me. Thanks-off to the woodshed with me, so the Lord can instruct me into how to truly love others and not just myself!
Posted by: Drew Hampshire | March 06, 2009 at 12:06 PM
Holy crap!? How did you get ahold of my journal?
Posted by: Mike Dyer | March 06, 2009 at 06:11 PM
"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." –Thomas á Kempis
The God they need is the God I need. - Craig
Posted by: Craig McConnell | March 06, 2009 at 07:40 PM
Drew & Mike,
We are all in the same boat. The superior and simple command to love God and others remains the most difficult of all and the clearest evidence of the transforming work of God in one's life.
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." - Craig
Posted by: Craig McConnell | March 06, 2009 at 07:45 PM
this is the place i would rather not go. i do not love because i am afraid of loving too much and then losing. loss has haunted me for a long time.
and then...i also do not trust God to fill me with the love i need to offer. i often find myself thinking "i cannot add one more person to my life. i have no more time. i have no more emotional energy." i know all the boundaries...i know all the words about guarding my heart. i believe them. however, there is this place in me that wants to check out of life and answer for God. often the most beautiful moments are those when it is true - i have nothing left. but that is why the verse says "love comes from God." it doesn't have to come from me and there is no striving that will make it appear.
Love
Love was made real
By poverty in straw
A rescue by tears
Holy wild made raw
To live, To love
To long and aspire
Underneath your wonder
Wake boundless desire
O love, live into me
O love, live into me
Deity was borrowed
Contradiction made man
Wearing our great sorrow
Now love has began
Now these will remain, faith, hope and love
The greatest, the greatest of these is love
Posted by: jill dyer | March 06, 2009 at 09:14 PM
Craig, When are you writing a book? I love your stuff. Sincerely, Steve
Posted by: Steve | March 07, 2009 at 10:55 AM
Christ, as part of our transformation, loans us His lenses to see others, and His lenses reveal opportunity in place of impossibility. When we can see others through His lenses, we can see beyond the behavior offered into the thirst that drives the behavior. And we have the opportunity to BE the conduits of His love and grace and mercy to the core of the thirst around us.
Or, we can take off His lenses and try to force compliance with OUR perception of justice... which moves us further towards self centered self love, and ultimately destruction.
Everything changes when we stop seeing sin as something to be punished, and start seeing sin what and where God seeks to heal.
When we start to see others the way Christ sees them, we start to see ourselves the way Christ sees us... and we can fully appreciate the extravagant love that we marinate in. It is usually in the act of being a conduit to others that we notice it in ourselves; until God made me a conduit of His love to other broken folks, I could not fully appreciate either my own brokenness OR the healing in me that He had already accomplished.
-vern-
Posted by: Vern Hyndman | March 07, 2009 at 11:01 AM
vern,
that was more than there-are-words for beautiful. that is making MY fridge.
Posted by: jill dyer | March 07, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Why don't I love? I've been praying over that question ever since I read your post on Friday, Craig. Sadly, I admit that I can also be guilty of operating from the standpoint of, "You don't love me, I won't love you." I don't want to be a woman who plays games, keeps score, or holds back. It's exhausting, childish, and unattractive. It's sometimes difficult though to find the balance in loving my enemies and blessing those who persecute me, and guarding my heart and not casting my pearls before swine, as Jesus said. As much as I don't want to be a woman who plays games, I also don't want to be a woman who naively tosses her heart out to be dismissed or trampled on. I don't want to offer my life to those who aren't interested or who don't value it. I've made that mistake many times and it's brought much pain.
It takes immense courage to love. There's always some level of risk involved. I've found that the simple prayer of, "Jesus, what does it look like to love ____? How would you have me offer my heart and life to them?" is so helpful. It's then just a matter of listening and walking in obedience and trust, regardless of the outcome...love-in-return or rejection.
Craig-I enjoyed another thought-provoking post from you. Keep writing, my friend.
Amy, Jill, and Marie-I've been touched by your comments recently and delighted that my experiences of God have been an encouragement to you.
Posted by: Jenny | March 09, 2009 at 08:13 AM
How in this world did you know, "neener, neener, neener" !? I am finding that more & more my "miffed" times are being shortened in their duration if I will but meekly turn and look in the mirror and see that so many times I was the very one guilty of having the fault/failures/defects/abrasive-relational-style kinda attitude! Talk about instant face in the carpet!
Posted by: Beverly | March 09, 2009 at 01:54 PM
Your blog has been rattling around in my head for days now. Why do I not love? Ughhh - I really dislike the answer. I do not love for many reasons - I'm weary. I am trying to protect myself. I am too focused on myself. I sometimes question how I am to love. Or I offer "love" out of unauthenticity. It is hard to keep up a "love" that is really not from who you are but rather a false self. It is also very tiring. Reflecting back on prayers, this is something I have been praying about for quite awhile - asking God to help me to love.
Posted by: Amy | March 09, 2009 at 04:00 PM
Amy - It is uncommonly brave to answer the questions when we don't like the answers. Reading your comment made me want to know you because your answer seems so very "real." It also seems to me that Jesus is able to enter and heal the hearts of those who face their own duplicity, rather than run from it.
Posted by: jill dyer | March 10, 2009 at 09:16 AM
Thank you Jill. Your words encourage me.
Posted by: Amy | March 10, 2009 at 05:26 PM
Steve... thanks, I'm writing one... slowly.
Posted by: Craig McConnell | March 11, 2009 at 06:10 PM
Such honesty, vulnerability and insight you (all) are offerring.
"Everyone who loves us wounds us. Our suffering is always where our love is. This is because those who love us do so with a love which is imperfect. It is tainted by their woundedness, their desire to cling, their needs... We have been created with hearts that will only be satisfied by the One who created us. We need the perfect love of God. This pain we suffer in our relationships is a way to reclaim our first love.” - Nouwen, Henri
Posted by: Craig McConnell | March 11, 2009 at 06:17 PM
Thank you.
Posted by: Laura | March 14, 2009 at 08:51 AM