March 1st

Its morning.

In my favorite rotund leather chair with a wonderful cup of Sumatra I’m browsing through last year’s journal.

February 21, 2008
I’m less concerned, maybe more accurately less “demanding” that I find the community I long to be a part of. My concern now is offering life… authenticity… God… creating community where I am.

A little later in my journal this Annie Dillard Quote:             

     “I would like to learn, or remember, how to live.”

Other than refilling my cup, not much has happened since.

I’m wandering in and out of prayer and longing. Father, I would like to learn, or remember, how to live.

What’s your prayer today?

Comments

[Reggie Britt]

I want to be more intimate with the Father

[Jenny]

My prayer today and really every day is to be completely and utterly genuine...in what I say and write, how I carry myself and relate to others, how I parent my children and love my husband, and so on. Authenticity is incredibly important to me, partly due to what I've experienced in my life, but mostly because I so desire to be exactly what God intended when he said..."Jenny". No hiding. No arranging. No posing. No shrinking. I want to offer all that I am, fully and freely, with the greatest of confidence.

From Chris Tomlin's "The Way I Was Made"...

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

[jill dyer]

jenny...wow. could we be related? or at least experienced similar things in regards to authenticity? :-) i want everything you articulated with all my heart. you called me out by your writing. i wasn't going to post this because i am embarressed almost to always be writing here. but when you said "no hiding....no shrinking" - God called my name.

thank you, jenny. and thank you, craig, for you sharing your prayers for today.

[stacy barnes]

Several years ago, I had a dear friend whose faith I admired very much. I asked him one day how he came to be so close to God. He told me he prayed a simple yet bold prayer: "God, I want all you have to give, and I will settle for nothing less." Of course, he didn't tell me just how "dangerous" a prayer like that could be. I prayed it, letting it voice all the hunger my heart contained, and my life has never been the same. That prayer is my daily prayer, and even now, years later, this infinite God we follow still has infinitely more to give.

[Darren]

Sometimes, I get too caught up in following one idea or another, forgetting that God will appear in my day no matter what and thinking that I'll keep him from doing that if I don't pray the right prayer or read the right bible passage. What's worse, though, is when I just lose that focus on Him despite whatever I do in morning. I just want to be able to pray whatever will open up my heart to what God has to give.

this is something i wrote that would be one of those prayers:

Relief of Burden

Mark me, my burden
and show your relief
for I wish to carry you to the end
where I might rest in knowing
I fulfilled my duty with open belief

Show me, my friend
your unbound concern
nothing more than what you mean
for I need not know how or why
but simply that you care

Hold me, my existence
and capture all which I feel
to the better move me along
despite my weak resistance
and fearful complaints

Leave me, my egotism
who strives at all costs
to impulse, fleeting pleasure
and smiles that evil grin at my failure
when loneliness remains upheld

Save me, my calm protector
who never ceases to pull me through
and silently warm my spirit
waiting for the moments when I notice
simply deciding to trust despite all others
knowing nowhere am I more safe
than in your loving presence

[David Felts]

My prayer Craig, is that I will be the man/husband/father that I am suppose to be. To offer myself to those who need me, and not just hide behind the poser that just wants everyone to get along and leave me alone. Thanks man, I think maybe I need to go back through my journal tomorrow and see where I was a year ago....
Dave

[Beverly]

Be still and know I AM God...one of stillness and one of eternal movement toward knowing. As I was pondering over this this am, I was reminded of the dailyness of being still even in the midst of going forward, believing in things I don't see, struggling to know as I am already known. I recalled the words from a song I recently heard. "I will serve You while I am waiting, I will worship You while I am waiting, I will run the race even while I wait". When I looked back in my journaling, I saw I am still waiting for some things, yet I am moving forward at a record speed toward the One & Only I long to know more & more every day.

[Marie Breskic]

I want to thank Jenny for expressing exactly what has been on my mind lately and giving me the word I needed, "genuine", yes. I want that. Actually I am to my great surprise becoming more genuine, a result of spending a lot of time with God, finding myself and the confidence I need to be genuine through him. I need to know God and his love and truth better than I do. To be genuine I need to know God and to know God I need to be genuine. Oh ... I see it might be hard to get what I mean. English is not my native language. Anyway, thank you Jenny!

[Eric]

Deep in the shadows of a great war, I fight.
I seek His White Presence to rescue this fate.
Decisions were made, great pain to endure.
Great Angels deployed to destroy and to cure.
To fight all that comes from the kingdom of dark,
To light and to guard, hearken and guide.
I pray for His Holy Light, and His love to endure.
The landscape is changing, the time, it seems ripe,
For us, God’s Holy Warriors, to stand up and fight.
Our wounds are self-evident and whence they have come,
Restoration and deep healing, come finally for some.
We must not give in to dread and to fear.
For surely our Great Lord is standing quite near.
He lives in our hearts His presence so warm.
His Spirit gives life to hearts that were torn.
If open the eyes of our heart, pray, He will do.
We’ll see that our prayers are all coming true.
So my prayer is to stand and fight like God’s man.
Touch me Abba, Father, with your compassionate hand.

[Vern Hyndman]

Sometimes your posts lead me so much deeper... and sometimes I just wanna have some of the Summatra you brewed and kick back with you... might hafta do that in a coupla weeks.

[Tony Devine]

Father, increase my desire for you!

[Robert]

My prayer lately has been to be totally immersed in the Lord, to be completely enmeshed with Him and His purposes for my life. I came across a couple of great verses recently the week before my 50th birthday:

Prov 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Prov 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

I have been giving the Lord permission to determine my steps so that His purposes prevail in my life.

[Randy]

Craig
It's been pretty simple. "More."

[Amy]

God, show yourself to me and help me to see you.

. . . A simple prayer out of a deep longing.

[Craig McConnell]

Vern,
A cup of Summatra and, i hope, a long lingering conversation. It would be my joy. - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

Y'all
Each month we (the Ransomed Heart team) try and set aside a day for prayer and fasting. Today was that day. We began with a time of worship listening to several songs from John's ipod... we prayed, prayed later, prayed some more. You can tell a lot about a person by their prayer(s). This afternoon I re-read each of your responses and found myself uttering a hearty "Amen" to every one of you. Thank you. Hear our prayers Lord! - Craig

[charlie]

I find myself praying about my sore foot today. Pain does that - causes us to focus on IT. I don't want to focus on pain.. I want to focus on finding God for today. His heart, His plan... Him.

[Craig McConnell]

Charlie,
First, may you foot be healed!

Secondly... it's amazing how pain can distract and then drive us to God. I think you're oriented: "He cares for my foot and longs for my heart". - Craig

[Mike Dyer]

I come back to these blogs on community more than once a day. As I begin to search my heart as to the lack of "it", my emotions seem to go in a thousand different directions. DISTRACTION. OK, I get that, jerky (Satan)does not want me to gain understanding. However, something I've also began to land on is that it also feeds this selfish, whiney side of me. Thinking there is something I deserve, it almost keeps me from what I so desire...too many expectations from past experience and old wounds. Like you said Craig, the whole demanding thing. Lord, fogive my selfishness, heal this place in my heart and help me be aware of your leading.