Der Suisse Question

(I am in Switzerland with some friends/Swiss allies teaming together in presenting a Boot Camp. I’m hoping to post several reflections on this experience.)

 

Throughout the Boot Camp men pulled me aside to tell me their varied stories. Each man genuine in his question, each in a horrible relationship or situation and every one of them, though bound in a shroud of unbelief, exercising some modicum of hope/faith by simply asking their question.

The questions were all the same, “Is God enough?”

“No, really, is God enough in THESE conditions, given THIS pain, and THIS heartless/unresponsive/emasculating person?”

And they were looking to my eyes not my words for the answer.

Somewhere in all the God-talk they'd heard along the way much had been left out. 

A man can live well. A man can know peace and joy; have a rich full life; play an enormous role in God’s story; live an adventure and pursue The Beauty in any and all circumstances and seasons. Largely untold are the profound promises of God to be our Strength, Comfort, Peace and Security, our Helper, Counselor, Friend and Lover.

Their stories brought me to tears while, I hope, my eyes flamed their hidden hopes that such a life is, indeed, possible… available, free… here, now! My words spoke of The One True God, who is here and He is neither silent nor inactive… That He is a resting place, a Fortress… that He spreads an extravagant banqueting table before us in the midst of our enemies, and to know Him is to fall on your face with groanings too deep for words… and yet are heard by Armies of Angels as praise and adoration.

Looking into His eyes I too am reassured. 

– Craig McConnell

Comments

[John]

It's 4AM, and I am unable to sleep...again...awakened to thoughts of, "What part of my life ISN'T a wreck?". Cruising my favorites on the internet, I come to your blog and read this. And I have to admit, where I am right now, the question "Is God enough in these conditions, given this pain" is THE question. I also have to admit that I'm seriously wondering whether the answer is yes or no. In my mind I know it's "yes", and I can quote all the right verses, but is that the core conviction of my heart. I can only reply, "Not yet". But you have given me hope...

[Kevin Dahlenburg]

I'm right there with you, John - I've felt like I've been stupidly teased and have dropped something for the past several years. I know God is with me, but for some reason I feel myself shutting down a bit more each month. I also know that God is enough, however, I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong. So far, my hope seems very one-sided. . . I must be doing something to bring this on myself, and I'm praying to find out what that is.

[Jill Dyer]

What a timely post...I have walked through this question recently myself and just yesterday with a friend. I am struck by - "And they were looking to my eyes not my words for the answer." When I was in my "question" of darkness, I think that is what pulled me out. Looking into someone else's eyes and seeing that they believe God is who He says He is. When your hope is forlorn, the belief in someone else's eyes feels a bit like a lifeline.

Buechner has a line - "Faith is remembering with hope." Maybe that is what we do for each other...remember God's goodness with hope and as we live that out we shed light on the dark questions in the eyes of those we love.

[Leslie]

I've been in the darkest time of my life for the past three years. More pain and lonliness than I've ever felt. I asked this question - really asked in the depth of my soul. God answered, but only after I stopped trying so hard to be better, fix things, figure it all out, lecture people, etc. Stop. Just stop. Go to your knees and give him everything inside of your heart. Lay it out there, he can handle whatever you've got, and then don't grab it back to manage. You have to let your pain bring to the end of yourself, to desperation, and then, in your humility, God will sweep you up in such a powerful love that your circumstances will pale in comparison. It is life-changing. He has proven to me ONCE AND FOR ALL that He is not just enough, He is everything. I've never known love like this, never felt so known, and never felt unshakable like I do now. It is not expressible in words the intimacy and sufficiency of God to meet my needs now. He is patiently waiting for you to give up and trust Him, recklessly. If you do go through this season with Him, and if He proves himself enough (which He will), how would that new reality change the way you live your life?

[Russ]

God allows challenges in our lives to test what you "say" you believe versus what you actually believe in your heart. As we all know, they are not always the same. Without the hardship you probably never would have confronted what was truly in the inmost places of your heart.

[Jill Dyer]

John...When I read what your comment, I was reminded of this. I wrote it after my "dark questions."

The War

Sometimes I feel there’s a rope around my waist
Pulling me backwards into an endless dark void
Slithering hands reach to blind my eyes
Deafening silence comes to cover my ears

I am rendered blind and deaf
By a haunting desperate evil
Who whispers I’ve done it all wrong
I must be a fraud to be thus defeated
I am straining with deaf ears
I can’t hear you at all
I can’t hear you at all

All at once I pop out of this bleak darkness
A drowning victim freed from the current
I wonder why I was sucked in the shadows
I am free now and see the wretched deceit

You enter my heart saying it was all lies, this is not who I am but it’s what I must fight,
I am beloved and holy, beautiful and new, never out of your reach though you feel so far
It’s a mystery I resist but I invite you here, no cursing but clinging
I invite you here

[Chuck Knauer]

Its amazing to hear what other men experience.., so many of us seem to be having many of the same struggles, but we never know., I imagine its why Christ wanted us to be a safe place to go...,

[Vern Hyndman]

I once was involved in a very adversarial conversation, and one brother says to another, "The pain of your wounds is clouding your eyes, and you cannot see."... and the other brother thought for a moment, and responded, "No, you're wrong, the pain of my wounds brings a laser focus, it simplifies and strips issues down to the barest of bare."

As I worked through pain, pain that I thought would kill me, and I tried to learn the rhythms of grace and mercy that permeated my soul as I struggled to remain surrendered, as I struggled to choose trust and hope over resignation and bitterness, as I reached for life even as parts of me were dying, I learned that pain is simply an indicator.

I learned to respect pain while not becoming it's slave.

And I learned that God not only redeems my pain, but He gives my pain purpose... this is completely different than CAUSING my pain... but pain that has no purpose is most hopeless and hope stealing.

Redeemed pain, pain that is repurposed by God, pain that God has fashioned into a weapon against evil, pain that is redeemed is a most potent weapon.

The Bible is rife with stories of pain and suffering redeemed, capped ultimately by the crucifiction and resurrection.

Brokenness, whether healed or in process, often becomes the "meeting place" for souls, a place where God and one soul can invite another.

So when I think of whether God is enough, enough for desolation, enough for abandonment, enough for heartbreak, enough for pain... I remember that in the worst of these, God was all there was. I found myself alone, until I recognized His presence.

-vern-

Jill - again, wow. Thanks.

[Jill Dyer]

my friend vern...i keep checking this blog. i've been waiting for something. i wasn't sure what. but now i know. you have a voice on pain that is like no other. thank you. you have spoken to some questions that i wasn't aware i was asking.

[John]

This is my official suggestion that Craig and Vern collaborate on a book, and I am hereby ordering the first copy!

[Mike Dyer]

Vern, it's time for another beer in the airport!

[Jill Dyer]

Amen to John's thought of the Craig/Vern book...I got dibs on the second copy! ;-)
And don't even think, sweet husband of mine that you can have a beer with Vern without me this time!

[Vern Hyndman]

I'm ready for another beer, but I'd rather have it in the back yard, with our feet up and in no hurry to go anywhere. Can't promise I won't get all choked up, though, my heart sits barely below my skin.

Ransomed Heart has been the center of an incredible ripple of relationship for me, ripples that include folks experiencing the physical presence of Christ as we speak, who no longer squint through the dark glass, and who see with new eyes. And Craig is clearly a hero amongst heroes for me... along with Bryan and Tara... such a concentration of amazing followers of Christ. I've learned a lot by hanging out, by seeing the effects of the mere presence of Godly people. I feel like I'm drinking through a fire hose when we're together.

I can't imagine what it'd be like to collaborate with Craig, or Jill... or any of the amazing hearts I've known here. And it awakens a deep desire and a hope in me to be included in such a group.

-vern-

[Craig McConnell]

Vern... how about it?

A collaborated book effort?

It would, no doubt, be good, BUT I'm thinking we form a rock band.

Not a cover band... we'd do our own stuff... mostly.

Hey, we'd have to do "Gimme Shelter" (classic!), "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (I'll sing the chorus),"Somebody's Baby" (I'm lead vocals, your lead guitar) , "Free Bird" (this is your song buddy, I'll be happy just to be on stage with you), "Down By The River" (long version of course!), "Something's Goin On" (I'm on the organ). We're starting to sound like a cover band?!

We'd have to include some stuff of The Doors... some of Jill's and of course... "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" with both of us on Cow Bell because you can never get enough Cow Bell! - Craig

[Bible Study]

God is enough. He is able to deliver us out of any situation or either to give us strength to get through it. However, without him, I don't know what i would do.