Der Suisse Question

(I am in Switzerland with some friends/Swiss allies teaming together in presenting a Boot Camp. I’m hoping to post several reflections on this experience.)

 

Throughout the Boot Camp men pulled me aside to tell me their varied stories. Each man genuine in his question, each in a horrible relationship or situation and every one of them, though bound in a shroud of unbelief, exercising some modicum of hope/faith by simply asking their question.

The questions were all the same, “Is God enough?”

“No, really, is God enough in THESE conditions, given THIS pain, and THIS heartless/unresponsive/emasculating person?”

And they were looking to my eyes not my words for the answer.

Somewhere in all the God-talk they'd heard along the way much had been left out. 

A man can live well. A man can know peace and joy; have a rich full life; play an enormous role in God’s story; live an adventure and pursue The Beauty in any and all circumstances and seasons. Largely untold are the profound promises of God to be our Strength, Comfort, Peace and Security, our Helper, Counselor, Friend and Lover.

Their stories brought me to tears while, I hope, my eyes flamed their hidden hopes that such a life is, indeed, possible… available, free… here, now! My words spoke of The One True God, who is here and He is neither silent nor inactive… That He is a resting place, a Fortress… that He spreads an extravagant banqueting table before us in the midst of our enemies, and to know Him is to fall on your face with groanings too deep for words… and yet are heard by Armies of Angels as praise and adoration.

Looking into His eyes I too am reassured. 

– Craig McConnell

Last Tuesday

So Lori tells me our daughter is bleeding. She’s 17 weeks pregnant 1276 miles away in The City of the Angels. My heart begins to swell. I call her and hear just beneath the surface of her always-joyful life giving voice the silver tongued devil’s fear. I mutter some words, give her my heart expressing my love, and enter the battle for my daughter and the baby in her womb.

In the moment I hang up the phone I burst into tears. My father’s heart turns violent in storming the throne of grace so aware that I have nothing but my belief in a powerful, every-present good God. I’m a madman exercising every bit of faith I have… appealing to another Father’s heart for intervention.

How little control we have over the most important things in life.

Totally dependent, with swelling hope and desire I find myself over and over… a 180,000 times praying for Life… for my grandchild, for my daughter… for my family.

The phone call comes. The doctor cannot find a heartbeat.

And so there we are… now speechless, still and overcome with pain/loss. Still clinging to God but with a loosened grip while His grip has tightened.

Death has such a sting…

When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."
"Where, O death, is your victory?
      Where, O death, is your sting?"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. – 1 Corinthians 15

Life will prevail.

-Craig McConnell

Still in The Booth

I’m sitting in the sound booth through the second session of our Advanced Conference listening to John speak. At some point my mind wanders…  I’m musing* about “teaching “and God nudges me asking, 

When did you enjoy teaching most?

Immediately it was the college level theology courses I regularly taught at my church in LA. I’m grinning ear to ear enjoying the memories of waxing eloquent on Christology, Anthropology, and Harmitology… I’d hand out my 70 page syllabus chock full of enticing insights, perspectives, implications… oh, and a ton of footnotes noting alternative views with their pros and cons,  rabbit trails, sources, exegetical notes  etc. etc…. I loved it. It was thorough authoritative clarity on the cardinal doctrines of the faith… full of footnotes.

And with big warm eyes and in the voice of a loving father God says, “Yeah… you were hiding”

Pause. Silence. My smirky smile shifting to a furrowed brow,  mouth open, questioning look.

“You loved it so much because you “found” validation there. Your syllabus and footnotes was all about you answering your question about having something to say…. Your syllabus was your God”

I remember while in seminary dreaming of getting a PhD. in theology. The “Queen of Sciences” as many refer to it.

Doctor Craig McConnell would undoubtedly/unquestionably/most surely have something to say. Right?

Wow… so 30+ years have passed since bone head greek and some of my best memories of teaching are being exposed as a godless quest for life… the abandonment of God and all He provides for the in-truth mousey affirmation of man. Footnotes! Footnotes were my broken cistern… my god, my mistress in hiding. I was feeling “it”… the shame of looking to footnotes over and instead of the self revealing, sovereign immutable, triune God ….

Great… so I’m speaking to 433 men in 8 hours and I’m marveling at the times and places God “shows” up to deal with some issue of our soul. And then again I’m not surprised at all. He’s always present… longing to be our God.

– Craig McConnell

*(I’ve always viewed myself as a “pastor teacher” loving the ongoing influence my life has upon those “sitting” under my tutelage over time. It’s been one of the things I’ve missed doing most over the last several years)