Leukemia

This last May 9th I was in Dulles International Airport with a 15 minute lay-over prior to boarding my overnight flight to Zurich to consult/coach a group of gifted Swiss leaders who were initiating the first German language Boot Camp.  I plugged in my computer hoping to charge the battery a skosh and noticed an email from my doctor.

It said, “Craig, please give me a call.  Your labs [from routine physical 2 weeks earlier] are back and Houston, we may have a problem..."

What?

I read it twice. Is this a joke?

Moments later I boarded the plane with my “Friendly Skies” companions and informed Lori from my cell of the email and asked her to follow up with my doc on what’s going on. Fifteen minutes later as the announcement to turn off all portable electronic devices for takeoff is being made my phone rings and Lori hurriedly reports, “Your white cell count is elevated. When you get back into town he wants to do some more tests. On your flight he wants you to take an aspirin, get up and walk around every hour, and lose weight.”

I ’m a little disoriented/spinning with what’s unfolding. Not sure if I was offering reassurance or asking for it,  I ask Lori, “Is everything okay… are you okay?”  She responds, “Yeah, I’m okay, I’m fine. It’s just a little something he wants to check out later, I love you”.

Wheels up and into a long night my heart’s posture was, “God, what’s up?”

I didn’t take the Ambien® (sleep aid) I was anticipating because I had to get up and move around every hour. I had taken an aspirin with my vitamins that morning so I checked that “box”, but wasn’t sure how to lose any significant weight on an 8 hour red-eye to Switzerland other than resisting the Snicker bar in my carry-on (which I did).

Every moment of the flight I was praying and pondering life… my life, death… my death, my family, my script of the future, my health and whether or not I had blood clots, heart issues, high blood pressure, H1N1, a parasite or a brain tumor?

Was I overreacting, misinterpreting a doctors generic concern over a minor abnormality in my blood work? Am I a hypochondriac? Or it some scheme birthed in hell to spin me into a self-absorbed disengagement from the team and epic importance of this mission (The FIRST German language Boot Camp!!)?

In what felt like the same amount of time it took Rome to fall I arrived in Switzerland, and though it was in the middle of the night in the states, I emailed my doctor, “Hey I’m speculating about my health and have died and buried myself five times on the flight… what’s going on?!”

He responded: “Your white cell count is elevated, around 20 thousand, normal is 10 thousand or less.  The kind of cells are lymphocytes.  We need the hospital to run some tests and repeat the counts to confirm the possibility of CLL, chronic lymphocytic leukemia.  When you get back let’s get the testing done and I will get you in to see a hematologist.” 

Leukemia!!!

And then there was the silence of my entire being recalibrating as I grasped each of the eight letters of the word and then the word as a whole… L-e-u-k-e-m-i-a .

It felt foreign, intrusive, large and daunting and very, very personal word.

I had a friend die of that as well as a colleague I supervised in my last church!

I’m a dead man walking… what do I have, 3 weeks to live and I’m stuck here doing a men’s retreat in Switzerland for 2 of  them?

I chose not to call Lori and tell her the news over the phone from so far away nor did I share it with the Swiss Team. I was on mission and sensed strongly that God would give me the grace to accomplish this task while privately processing all the anxieties, fears, free roaming emotions, questions and the reorientation my diagnosis was raising.

On the second day in country the Swiss guys suggested I spend some time with one of the team, Gerd. The other four team members and I had spent time together at Boot Camps, Advanced Camps and at our home in Colorado. So Gerd and I went for a walk along a streamside trail in a high elevation meadow with the Eiger and Jungfrau peaks overlooking us. It was stunning beauty. I asked Gerd for a bit of his story.

He shared that he was a retired professor at a German Medical School, former president of the German Cancer Society, and a survivor of an aggressive/acute Leukemia. I managed to ask a few more questions about his “survival” of cancer and then stopped walking to find a rock to weigh down. Finding one, I begin to sob, eventually finding the words to tell him that I had just learned of my diagnosis, the day before!

He sat alongside me, and took all the time needed for me to express my shock and fear, he listened… asked several questions and reassuringly led me to a deeper understanding of “life” and “health and how neither is determined by the condition of my body. 

He was fathering me. And God was fathering me through him.

I’m 36,000 miles from home, alone for the next eleven days (hiding my diagnosis from my wife), about to participate in a historic “first” that will require all of me, and I’ve just learned I have cancer… and yet I’m not alone, God is present… so very present. And he has silver hair – just as I’ve always imagined, a German accent and responds to the name “Gerd”. I was BLOWN away! I don’t know how long we sat there. It was a good amount of time.

Not wanting my time with the team nor the conference to be about me I asked Gerd to keep my issues confidential. Throughout my time their he would put his hand on my shoulder during times of worship… it was Gerd’s hand… yet it was a larger, even stronger hand – the same hand that has touched us all at our times of crisis and need. It was God. And it was Gerd… who would pull me aside to offer words needed to stay the course while fear, anxiety and confusion surged back and forth. It was Gerd who would pray and check in on the fragile condition of my heart. Several times he spoke to my fears and doubts insisting that “We simply must life! Live life!” and that the best offense against cancer is waged from the heart. With his vast medical knowledge and in a sagely voice he told me that a certain and sure indication of living well was to… “Have a little whiskey and chocolate every night”.

So much more could be shared.

After 12 days I returned home. I hadn’t shared my diagnosis with Lori over the phone, choosing to wait until we could hold one another and talk with our eyes and heart. Reunited I found that she had known of the cancer from the beginning and choose to wait until my mission was over so we could circle the wagons together.

 
There will come a day when I attempt to put a few sentences together that describe what my wife means to me… and brings to me.

I went in for extensive blood and genetic tests that confirmed I have Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL). I’m asymptomatic and in the early stages. My Hemoc used an analogy to describe my specific situation: there is a burning ember in a dry grassy field with a warm breeze blowing. The hope is that the ember is extinguished by God, or never ignites the grass.

I’m under the care of great docs and am getting good counsel. Since May I’ve survived the initial waves of fear, hopelessness and the frisky dose of the “blues”. 

I’ve got a lot more to say about all of this, and will in time.

My goal is to live life fully; not let my identity be defined by cancer; fight like hell, and have a little whiskey and chocolate every night!

- Craig McConnell

Note: Until last week only my family, close friends and a few intercessors were aware of my diagnosis. I wasn’t ready to deal with a wider circle. Now I am. Besides, so much of what God is doing in my life now is linked to cancer… how could I keep silent about all of it?

Within a few weeks of the diagnosis of Leukemia I got another call from a different doctor on the pathology reports from several biopsies that had been taken… they proved to be Melanoma; thus the “frisky dose of the blues”. They’ve been removed! I blog on that experience as well. 

Another blog from this summer pretty well captures one of the primary themes of God’s work in me through this season thus far. 

Thanks so much for your prayers.

Comments

[Amy S.]

My goodness, Craig!! I am just shocked and so so sorry to hear of this!! Please please know that I and my family will be lifting you before the Father daily.

There is something that has been continuing to come to my attention over and over and over again... maybe it's for you!

There was a Dr. by the name of Max Gerson from the 1920's... and he found that through nutritional medicine his patients were not just feeling better from their ailments through his therapy, but that they were being completely healed. Cancer being one of them...

His daughter, Charlotte Gerson, has carried on his legacy and thousand and thousands of people are walking away from cancer using Dr. Gerson's Therapy.

I don't know if this is for you or not.. but maybe it is. It really works and there are a number of documentaries out on this.
One is right here, and it's in it's entirety.. I just watched it today. It's called Dying to have Known...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7357629140536485998&hl=en#

Many many blessings and healing over your body... Amy

[Tara]

Craig,

You are a man of bravery, depth and great heart. Your honesty in sharing this part of your story made me weep, truly. And the depth of the love of the Father as He moves in and through you shook me to the core.

How often do I think that He really doesn't have me? How often do I subtly doubt that He loves me beyond measure?

Thank you for rocking me back on my heels yet again, and reminding me of the love of God. It is transformative, and your journey is such a great hope and light to me.

I am better because of having you in my story, and so very grateful to God for that.

I have and continue to pray for you and Lori and your family throughout this journey. Both of you are sages whom I so deeply long to know better. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your heart. Thank you for your grace and truth and love. Thank you for the way you walk with Him. Because you do, I am better for it, and the Kingdom goes where you go.

In Him,
Tara

[John]

So much like God to give you someone like Gerd to understand, love and counsel you at that time and during the mission. Truly beautiful.
Take care friend, and enjoy that Chocolate and Whiskey.
John

[Shane Hunter]

Craig,

You will have whatever God requires of us, for you, with regard to this battle. You will undoubtedly have many people call, email, and otherwise be praying for you over the next days, weeks, months, and years. Until we shake hands again and I feel the strength of your mighty grip Craig; count me among them. Until then, stay strong and rejoice in family.
-Shane

[Rocco]

Craig,
.
I'm crying. My heart weeping, for you, your family.
.
You are such a dear man.
.
I am grateful to know such a small part of your story. Your life has made an incredible impact on mine.
.
I pray that Father would let those embers fad away to nothing. Even if it is selfishly for my own benefit - to know you more, to continued being touched by your life and words.
.
You are loved.

[Janine and Scott French]

Craig, thanks for sharing your heart with us. Scott and I will pray for you and Lori. Live Strong, Scott and Janine French

[Alex Dompe]

Craig, I am praying for you. You don't know me but you have influenced in my life in powerful ways. Blessing and health to you. Comfort and joy to you and your family.

[Shannon Price]

Craig, You have received so much healing for your heart over the years...You have learned how to reach in, find Jesus in the midst of the pain, chaos,confusion and receive His love, mercy and His healing. Craig, reach in again, there is healing for your body from the same Holy One that has healed your heart... You can do this!

I pray the comfort of the Holy Spirit be tangible for you and your family at this time and I pray that you come to know the resurrection power, that has healed your heart, will now become even more real to you in the healing of your body. Holy Spirit please give Craig and his family Your wisdom and I thank you that you guide his steps. In Jesus' Name I pray.

[Jennifer McDaniel]

Why?

I really want to scream and shout, "This isn't fair!" Instead I sat on the metro with tears rolling down my face and "More Love, More Power" playing in my ears. God's timing is so good, because I KNOW that you're already placing this squarely in His hands.

Craig, you are one of the bravest men I know and I thank you for sharing this with us. I am amazed that in the midst of something so frightening, all you could see was God -- what a great work He's done in you! I will be lifting you up.

[Vern Hyndman]

I love you my brother Craig, I love the way you handle your own heart, and the hearts of those around you, and how you see that you are not defined by the circumstances we find ourselves in. The life that is in you and pours out through you is not going to succumb to fear; it is not going to be diminished by circumstances.

Your life is legendary, it has echoes of a story we're all in, and it is your decision to live from your true heart, to live with no fear, that reminds us all to live authentically. The inspiration of your one life has sparked the flames of a multitude of lives.

I think it's that you trust God to be God, that you trust the very heart of God, that leaves you free to love so well. The most well meaning of fathers, when we reach past our own role, find ourselves twisted in fear and frustration... but when we live in the fierce love of God, when we can take dominion without taking control, we are free to bathe those we love in extraordinary love.

You're living eternal life right now... you're living in an eternal story that has been echoing for a long time.

I pray for the ember of destruction of your body to die in an dry and windblown field, and the roaring inferno of your life to burn down to the trust of true. And may the circumstances you face fan the flames of the unstoppable eternal life you're living.

[Brad Robitaille]

May the God of all creation extinguish that burning ember in the dry field and may you continue to reflect God's glory here on earth for many decades. This has been and will continue to be my prayer for you Craig.

I love you. You are the real deal.

BRAD

[jill dyer]

vern said everything i could have hoped to say. love you, craig.

[Jay G.]

Thank you for being brave and ready to share this with the larger circle. Seems God always supplies a "Gerd" when we need one. Please continue to share with us your story and your heart-love your writing. oh and all of what -vern- said so eloquently too.

[David Felts]

Craig,
You are an important part of who I have become as a man. Your words, laughter and that gentle nudge you gave as you pushed past me and the other men at boot camp, when you would come down the middle aisle that was no longer visible instead of taking the path of least resistance along the sides like everyone else did have endeared you to my heart.
You have been added to my daily prayers. Hold fast, stand steady and never surrender brother! You're a great man with a great heart...and this too shall pass!

[Michelle]

May the Lord greatly bless you,
May He cause His face to shine upon you,
May you feel Him near, and may He bring you Peace.

[~jo]

Craig...

I have no words.
There is just a jumble of things that are swirling around inside me though I'm not sure which one has the upper hand at the moment: profound sadness over your diagnosis, deep gratitude for your life, or sure faith that our God is bigger than all of hell.

Thank you for all that you are, Craig.

May the peace that passes all understanding passionately seize you and yours and never let you go throughout every moment of these uncertain days.

Praying.....

[Drew Hampshire]

I'm so glad I spoke to you some time ago in the Muskokas...and I am unable to get a handle on what to say here...

I think Jo has my words already. Your words, though, always bring your face to mind for me, and it has this big Craig smile-its yours alone, and I see it from my time at Boot Camp, I see it from the Muskokas, I see it when I read your words, and it always follows with such a feeling of warmth for you, and because of YOU. So, the adventurous journey has been redefined some-so looking forward to hear what the journey is like now, regardless of the CCL. Once again, thank you for writing and lending yourself to us!

[Randy Shelley]

Craig,
I stand with everyone here in prayer for you and your family. You have had such an influence on me personally and the men of Mechanicsburg, Pa which you spoke to several years ago at our retreat.
This past weekend we had 240 men attend a breakfast and a large percentage of them expressed a desire to have a band of brothers that they could come along side. Our pastor told me that the closest we ever came to a true ministry to men was through the WAH message. You had a huge role in bringing that message to us.
I thank God for your willingness to be His vessel and be used by Him to influence men's lives for Him.
I pray for your healing and claim Psalm 91 over your life.

[Michael Dyer]

Echoing the chorus...

[Doug Mitchell]

As another one of those Mechanicsburg men, I stand with my brother Randy, we together stand with you before the throne of grace. We pray together for your healing, for your bride, and for your hearts. Fight on!!! Live Strong, and never be reluctant to ask for the strength of a brother when yours feels insufficient.

Doug Mitchell

[Robert]

Dear brother Craig - Only God could have the timing of this down and show up for you like He did in the presence of Gerd! You are LOVED, man! Let Him be your encourager through this. Our prayers are with you. Please keep us posted.

Robert

[Kevin Campbell]

Craig,

You have what it takes for this.... fight my friend. My heart and prayers are with you.

Kevin

[Craig McConnell]

Thank you for your response to my blog “Leukemia”. The power words of life, story and testimonies have is probably immeasurable. It is certainly felt! Thank you.

I’m good! I’m making adjustments to my life style, exploring “alternative” therapies/approaches to cancer I can integrate with the care of a couple of great doctors. Your prayers are welcomed!

One of my daughters, her husband and their two daughters are in town for Thanksgiving which adds joy, laughter and pride to a life I am so very grateful for. We’ve sledded, been mesmerized by the hippos at the local zoo, had tickle-fights, made a snowman, gone Letter Boxing, had milk shakes, watched The Little Princess 12 times and stayed up way too late most nights. Life is good!

Of course Christmas is approaching and with it so many activities. I’d appreciate the very same prayers you’d love… for God to come into it all.

That’s my prayer for you. Lord give us eyes to see you among us; jump out from behind the tree, nudge us in the mall, quiet our hearts in the eve and mark our path for the day each morn.

Thankful for you! – Craig McConnell

[Craig McConnell]

jo,
I wasn't able to respond to your comments on my blog personally/privately, so let me say here: "Thank you for your wonderful words and prayer... they are stirring" - Craig

[Eddie]

Craig,

I love you, man!

[Beth]

Ahhhhh......the impeccable, crazy, absurd, are-you-freaking-kidding-me timing of it all...learning of your diagnosis right before boarding the plane.

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with DCIS (early stage breast cancer) on the very same day I learned the date I would travel to pick up my adopted daughter in China....what to do, what to do....still go get her, and run the risk of orphaning the child twice at some point? Or chuck the whole adoption?

I went..... you went. My point: Keep going.

[Tim W]

Brother, know that you are being prayed over.

Father, we ask you to heal Craig of the cancer in his body. Remove it totally, Lord. We thank you for Fathering Craig while he was away. We thank you for Gerd who was there to love Craig and comfort him, and father him.

Father, I ask for peace and comfort for him and his family, but not wanting to stop there. Healing, Father, we ask specifically for healing. Be glorified in the healing of Craig.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

[Rick]

Craig,

I have seen what others have written, and I echo their feelings. But oh how I feel the need to tell you from my heart. You are loved by so many, myself included. I have only met you briefly at a boot camp or two but your heart and your life speaks to me so much more than some of the many loved ones that are around me daily.

All this love, aimed directly at you...it can be nothing but healing. You have shown me many times how to live the life that the kingdom needs, that the Father wants me to live. Their are no words to describe how you have been a brother to me.

My prayers are with you, and I know that you will find strength in this to not only get well but to bring all of us to a closer walk with the Father at the same time.

Healing, strength and life to you brother.

With love and prayers.

[Ben Clasper]

Dear Craig
I am floored. I have taken so much from your teaching and so much inspiration from finally coming from the UK to meet you and the team in Colorado last year.
You have shown so many of us how to fight the battles we felt unequipped to take on and whilst I know this is your fight it's time to give something back and the battle and the prayer starts here and the prayer will be mighty and sustained.
With Love
Ben

[Bruce Tindale]

Your courage in the face of adversity is awe inspiring, So many of the Aussies at BootCamp here in Australia will be praying for you as do I. You have encouraged me and inspired me to continue the dream I had. Bless you and your family Craig, you remain in our thoughts as you journey through this time.

[Glenn]

Thanks for being so brave, Craig. Your bravery and desire to walk with the Lord through this is inspiring.

May God bless you, friend. I will be praying for you.

- Glenn

[Cindy Benson]

Craig,
You don't know me, but a friend forwarded your blog post to me and I wanted you to know what a blessing it was to read your post as well as all the amazing comments. I have been dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis these last couple of months and am due to have surgery in less than 2 weeks. Feel like I'm fighting the clock to research all I can about alternative treatments, get 3rd & 4th opinions, line up appts, etc. But early on before the test results came back, my 4 1/2 year old granddaughter randomly said to me at the dinner table: "The Lord says, 'You do not need to worry. I am very close.'" I have never had such an obvious message from God given quite out of context, yet so exactly what I needed to hear. I've clung to those words, believe me! I hope & pray for the best for you. (And yes, look into that Gerson diet - I saw another documentary on him and it's pretty amazing. Too bad everything seems to be out in CA when I'm in NH! :))
God bless,

[david kortje]

Craig,

Just saw this. I know you have so many friends who are supporting and encouraging you, but allow me to lend my sword as well. You are such an honorable man, and I am available however you may choose. I know you have a number of physicians working with you as well, but if you need another just to bounce ideas off of, feel free to call.

Fight well my friend.

to the King,

David Kortje

[Norman Miller]

Graig , My prayers are with you in this battle that you are facing, I will also get my small group involved in this prayer as well. As you know our God is grate, all things are possible. We will lock arms together in this battle and fight for you. God bless. Norman Miller

[Maryna]

Craig I would trade places with you any time! How I would love to be with our Lord and see His face, yet for some reason He keeps me here to fight His battles. And this one will be for you: I will fight for you and your family on my knees.

Quoting Paul:
"For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Phil 1:21

God bless.
Maryna

[Carey Warren]

"Battle!" - Michael

I will fight alongside you, Craig. The gates of hell will not prevail - that's a promise.

Randy W.

[Shannon Cooke]

Craig,
Damn! No words come. My eyes well with tears, and my heart is heavy for you, Lori, the girls, sons-in-laws, and grandkids. Personally, I'm going for red wine, an Argentine blend. I raised a glass and a prayer for you tonight, friend. I will bring a canopy of prayer over you from your allies in Abilene, TX. Hope to see you soon, and pray with and for you in person.
Shannon Cooke

[Dianne Maxwell]

Dear Craig,.....We have not met, but my husband, Haines Maxwell is a part of the Charlotte, NC "Band of Brothers" which meets in the "Barn" every Tuesday night. He has told me of your recent diagnosis and I am compelled to pass along information. You are most likely getting advice on treatment modalities from lots of different directions (I noticed the other blogger Amy S. makes reference to the Max Gerson Institute), and I am suggesting you look into one more that goes along the line of "nutrition" medicine to arm your fearfully and wonderfully made body to fight this invasion. There is a ministry in Shelby, North Carolina called "Hallelujah Acres," which promotes a basically vegan/raw food (85% raw:15% cooked) lifestyle and people who embrace it are not just in remission from a host of serious diseases, but completely healed by arming their own immune systems with the food God "mentioned" in Genesis 1:29. Anyway, if you are curious please check out www.hacres.com. Rev. George Malkmus, the founder, does a free information seminar in Shelby the first Saturday of every month. Please know my husband Haines and I are praying for you as well as all the "Barn Brothers" here in the Charlotte area.

[Tom Caylor]

Craig,
You like stories, here's a short one. I met an old lady last night at a hymn sign (obligatory for visiting my in-laws, my father-in-law did a harmonica medley). Her husband died of cancer recently, and in the last year her son died of throat cancer; he fought hard to live. He's a "horse-whisperer" rancher from Idaho. I didn't get to hear about the legacy he left. But the old matriarch took it hard, couldn't go to church for a while. She said that finally she and God "had a long talk about it", and now she's OK. So like you said on your Waving Goodbye post, God is sufficient. And I know how you've shared here and at Boot Camp, and on DVDs and CDs, your passion for your family and your deep desire to pass on your legacy. Your legacy will include seeking and finding God in the darkest times. Now God and your legacy are inseparable.
Tom Caylor

[Kevin Tuttle]

Craig...wow...thank you for being so open and vulnerable in this time. Know with confidence that through your pain and sharing it is helping to ease the fear and pain of others who have found themself on this same path.
Know also...that you have what it takes to fight this as the warrior that God has created you to be. There will be plenty of times when you retreat to your foxhole and let the other warriors and angels cover you while you rest...but you have what it takes!
There is a legion of warriors fighting for you...be strong in that.

[Ronald Holt]

Craig,

Thank you for having the courage now to share this with all of us. When my wife, Beth, was diagnosed in ‘06 with breast cancer, I remember the incredible feeling I had of arriving at a fork in the road of our lives and not knowing which way we would be led. There would not be a choice; we would be told which fork to take. The anxiety was how we would respond to the direction we were given and how that would change our lives forever. I know you know how important it is to share this news with others and really feel supported by not only those closest to you but by this larger family of Ransomed Heart. May God continue to give you the grace and humor to continue down this road you have been sent and may you be able to continue to share the insights He gives you as you travel it with Lori and your family.

Blessings, Ron

[Brad Bagwell]

Craig, I just know you from your blogs and I love your heart, Im trying to put myself in your place to feel what your feeling but its almost impossible please know Im praying for and with you as John encourges us to be warriors we need to fight as brothers and sisters on our knees before our mighty God and saviour!!!

[Brock Henning]

Craig, you've never met me, but I've met you several times while trekking thru W@H with other men, listening to your podcasts, and reading your blog. Thanks for sharing the private with all of us...the story speaks. And keep writing.

A friend praying just up the road,

-brock
Golden, Colorado

[Steven Page]

Dear Craig.
I don't know if you remember me, I am from South Africa and met you in 2007 May at the Boot camp. I then met you again at the advanced Boot camp in May 2008. I gave my LIFE to the Lord in 2007 April because Jesus saved my life after reading The Way of the Wild Heart. Oh if only you knew how my life has changed since meeting Jesus, how I know Jesus is in me and God sees His son in me. God sees Jesus in you too and no illness can survive when we are immersed in Him. Do you remember the last day of Boot camp in 2007, I was in tears because God spoke to me so clearly that my father who I hated and did not want him in heaven did not have long to live and God wanted me to bring my dad to him. My father was an abusive, violent alcoholic. I asked you what I should do and you said to me, "don't rush just listen to God wait for His timing and walk with Him". Craig those words were profound because a year later after I was baptised God sent me to bring my dad to Him. I obeyed and he was saved. A year later he died and his last words to me which you must understand were words he had never ever said before were, " Steven I love you". Only by the grace of God could those words have been uttered. Craig I would like to return the words you gave me two years ago, "don't rush this time with God, listen to what He is saying and walk with Him. God loves you and sees His son in you and by His grace He will see you through this dark night of the spirit into the light. The apostle John writes, "And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.(1 John 5:20). We must seek things eternal. Read the whole of 1 John and when you read the word 'beloved' replace it with your name, Craig. God is doing mighty things around the world and He is doing a mighty thing in your life, enjoy the mystery and look to the cross at Jesus suffering, nothing can compare to that. If I had not met Jesus I would not be alive today, you know He saved your life before and He will do it again.
Love and prayers ( Warrior Angel)-by the way God gave me this name at Boot Camp 2007. Steven Page

[Alan Greenwood]

Dear Craig
I hadn't looked at the RH website for a while. This morning while sitting outside our holiday chalet in the beautiful SW of Western Australia, I heard the Spirit prompting me to log in. So, join the club Craig. I was diagnosed with CLL in August. Your testimony thus far is encouraging. I have reached similar conclusions on my mortality. I love my wife and 5 children so much; friendships are precious; and all is well with my soul. I would offer some advise for you to consider. For some time I have known of the acid/alkaline balance which varies with individuals. Being skinny and healthy my creed has always been to eat and drink what I want. Research showed me that it is an alkaline state which is God's natural inoculation against the rogue cells which are present in everybody. My conclusion is that a low (acid) ph balance has caused/contributed to my present state of ill health. Yes, I have several sessions of chemo to look forward to but am also swinging my body over to a higher (alkaline) ph to drown the nasties. This means cutting back on the red meat, wheat, sugar and some dairy - things I love. A by-product is dramatic weight loss - all good! There are numerous web sites explaining the principles and listing alkalysing foods. A glass of lemon juice in water each morning is enough to kick start your body into an alkaline mode for the day! Doctors don't hold much to the theory. The clincher for me was when my doc mentioned how one of the chemo ingredients was a alkalinising drug. I will pray for you as we both go through a valley which I believe will lead to the next mountain top - praise God!

[Joan Rudloff]

Oh Craig,
I pray He has wrapped you in His love. Miss your blogs, but understand it's kind of difficult right now. You are in the palm of His hand and the center of His heart and love.
Prayers,

[Adam Brennen]

Craig,

I have prayed for you. I know that God is the Healer. If He leads you to pursue certain treatments, I know some executives well at MD Anderson that can get you in. Also, there is a video my wife and I came across recently that is eye openning about cancer. It is called "Healing Cancer from the Inside Out." If you would like more info on either the video or MD Anderson, shoot me an e-mail. As always (and as you say), walk with God in this.

[Rebecca Richard]

Craig and Lori,
I met you briefly at a Ransomed Femininity conference in January 2004 (or 2005). Just want you both to know you are in my prayers. You have spoken so much into my life via teaching CD's. I know God is faithful. . . I know He has our best care in His plans. I thank RH Ministry for the freedom to say that I don't always understand (or like) God's leading us through the valleys.
You will be in my constant prayers for His health, His peace, and His intimacy.
Rebecca

[Daniel Deen]

Craig, As I read this news (and having led a W-at-H study 2x) I could not help but think of the part in Gladiator where Maaximus had been stabbed yet was still fighting in the arena: He knew that there was work to be finished. He was more interested in the larger story, and his role in it than his own life. I would follow that kind of man to the death, and you are that man. I have two heros now Kurt Warner #13 and you.

[Sam Charters]

Craig,

I am stunned. This may sound strange coming from someone you do not know, but I don't want to lose you. You have been one of the men who has intiated me through the work of Wild at Heart, Boot Camp, and Ransomed Heart. You are a man of power and influence far beyond what you know. Your work has been part of my rescue, and I will never forget that. My family and I send you our love, and our prayers.