My how God has changed!

I’ve been reading through 35 years of my journaling.

My how I’ve changed. My how God has changed!

Now, of course God hasn’t changed, but a boat load of my beliefs about Him sure have.

Over the course of a Christ-follower’s life long journey any beliefs he has about God that are beneath Him (God) will be dismantled and discarded.

Dismantled by God.  Discarded by us. 

After all, the Author and Perfector of our faith desires truth in our inner most being, and we, who are children of light cannot coexist with darkness once it’s been exposed. It actually takes a herculean effort to repress truth/beauty/love, and such is the power of deceit whether chosen or not.  But God, on His part, will arrange life to surface the aberrant convictions/beliefs we hold that, unattended, will eventually cause us great grief. The preferred time to find you’ve built your house upon the sand is prior to the tempest!

As we walk with God, press into His word and feel the fury of life’s storms our immature/sub-biblical/second-hand beliefs will be outed and readily tossed on the rubbish pile of “religious notions”.

A.W. Tozer said it well,

"That our idea of God correspond as nearly as possible to the true being of God is of immense importance to us. Compared with our actual thoughts about Him, our creedal statements are of little consequence. Our real idea of God may lie buried under the rubbish of conventional religious notions and may require an intelligent and vigorous search before it is finally unearthed and exposed for what it is."

Read the Gospels and you’ll see that God is supremely more interested in the unseen motives and beliefs that govern us than He is in our external behaviors and verbal declarations. Real change, lasting change starts on the inside – in the arena of motives and beliefs,  and then works itself out in our actions and deeds; thus, one of His redemptive purposes in orchestrating of all the annoying hassles and struggles of life. God will initiate the vigorous unearthing of that which we truly believe about God, about His view of us, our epic role in His Larger Story, the life we long for and the Adversary set against us so that we might know the truth.

In short, if you want to know what a person really believes, their doctrinal declarations may not tell you nearly as much as how they live, pray, relate to others, worship and deal with life’s grave disappointments.

Over the years I’ve canned, modified and exchanged a whole lot of my beliefs and convictions about love, marriage, parenting, growing as a Christian, and my role in society, church and ministry, sinners, “saints”, sin, the doctrinal issues I’d actually fight over, addictions, grace… and on and on! 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. – 1 Corinthians 13:11

There is humility in growing.

Now of course there are things I believe and embrace as true that haven’t yet taken deep root in my being.  It could be the reality and extent of warfare in the life of the believer, or the epic role I play in God’s Large Story, perhaps that the redeemed heart is good, or that God’s heart toward me is that of a loving father, or that healing of life-shaping wounds is available.  All true, yet, perhaps not fully governing me.

In some blend of desire, faith, trust and courage I step into those beliefs by choosing to live as if they’re true. Absolutely true! And in doing so I find myself crying out to God in my prayers and in my reflections upon scripture for Him to confirm, instruct and weave these truths into my heart, mind and soul.

Take my once adolescent belief in the omnipresence of God (the attribute of God that speaks of His forever and always presence in all places). I professed that truth, but for decades I didn’t really truly actually believe way down in the nitty gritty of Craig that it was true.  Life pressed in and I begin to realize my unbelief that God was present. I didn’t believe He was present the way that David did, or the way the early church did, or the way others around me did.

I begin to look for Him at odd and unusual times… outside of church, in a  U2 song, in the middle of an argument, when I had the flu or the transmission failed. In odd and difficult situations, with positive and negative emotions my posture was one of questions and seeking, “Are you (God) here… in this?” “God, where are you?” “Is that you?”

And He’s shown up time and time again making Himself known, answering me, speaking, He’s jumped out of the bushes and snuck up behind me enough that His being present is a reflexive lens I now view life from, because it’s true. Truly true!

– Craig McConnell

Comments

[Darren Villalobos]

Craig
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, especially in showing that finding one's identity in God is a continuous process. I know myself that I still struggle with the distrust in Him deep down from my past. "There is humility in growing" seems to be one of the main messages I've been getting from God lately. But there's also the challenge to look for Him, which seems to make all the difference. The same old situations can be seem so much more clearly and full of life!

[Craig McConnell]

Darren,
IF there is a distrust of Him deep within you, that'll be the focus of God's Fathering heart for you. I wonder how he will come for you? I'm sure it'll be intimate, strong, kind and in a million little ways... over and over, "Darren, see! I'm good, I was there in the past, my heart broke too..I love you." I can't imagine anything more important to God than his healing the past.

[Vern Hyndman]

Isn't it true that when we attempt a doctrinal statement, we're adding all the views of who God truly is... but God meets us in our need and brokenness... so the objective truth of God is felt in the subjective sense of our circumstances.

Folks who cannot admit need are immune to grace, and therefore are immune to salvation.

So beyond the philosophy and the theories of the entity of God, there is the person of God who joins us, and who permeates the brokenness.

I pray that it never be that folks know about God, but never know God. What a perverse thing, to know about love, yet never experience love. To have theories about what it might mean to be loved, yet be held so captive by those ideas that we refuse to try them out.

All the theory in the world may help build faith, but faith without trust is useless. Faith is the framework that trust uses, but trust can happen even outside of the framework we try to build.

To have faith but not trust is to build a bridge to life, but to refuse to step foot on it.

Craig, I love your posts. Thanks.

[jill dyer]

vern..."so the objective truth of God is felt in the subjective sense of our circumstances." I love that. It seems also that in those moments is when our love begins to respond to how we are being loved. your comments are always thought-provoking.

[Jodi]

this comment is connected to Darren's comment re: a "distrust in Him deep down in my past"- I can so relate to this, as just fairly recently I had to face a 'huge' fear from my past and my life-long deep distrust of my heavenly Father- 28 years ago, I had a corticoid-steroid induced pychosis and landed in the hospital for a month in the psych ward as they weaned me off a massive dose of prednisone I had been taking for a kidney disorder. Fast forward to a couple of years ago- as a middle-aged woman, I started to develop asthma...Guess what you have to take to control asthma?- no big mental leap here- corticoid steroids! Well, I had me a BIG talk with God and I asked Him how He could allow this to happen....to allow me to develop this disease which the control for was one of the things that I had feared so much and had nearly killed me and left huge wounds in my heart which I had been trying to overcome....Long story short- In a journey/process that has taken us to today....a friend of mine went home to be with the LORD last April...and BANG the fear I had of using the steroids went away instantly....Up to this point, interestingly enough, the LORD had allowed my asthma to be controled by an anti-histimine that I had been using....You see, He knew better than anyone, how MUCH AFRAID I was of these meds and in His mercy He gently led me to the place where the fear was gone and with tears in my eyes here, I can testify to the fact that years ago I was holding back from God because pof this, but i am learning to trust Him more and more and slowly He is winning my heart to Himself....He ever gently led me to the place where we walked through the FEAR together and He ever so gently helped me to see that His heart is good towards us....He didn't want to see me live in fear for the rest of my life....and by the by, I use corticoid steroids every day and guess what? I'm A- O.K....actually I'm more than fine.....I am learning to live loved by my gracious Heavenly Father.....

[Charlie Smith]

On the head! I'm listening to a podcast with the author of The Misunderstood God: Lies that Religion Teaches Us about God. Love ya man!

[Danielle Kaczmarek]

Hi Craig,
Stepping out of the boat again here! As I step into my belief that God really does create each one of us (that must mean me too) with something of value to bring into the Larger Story I'm feeling that blend of desire, faith, trust and courage you mentioned. I'm also feeling a need to cry out to God to confirm, instruct and weave this truth into my heart, mind and soul. This isn't a very intellectual or "heady" comment on your blog (which I had to read 3 times in order not to miss all the details in it) but it's where I am. Simply posting is a step into making my belief real.

[jill dyer]

Danielle...comments about where you are seem much more influential and real than anything "heady" or intellectual. Praying that his nearness will surprise you today in response to your step towards belief.

[Drew Hampshire]

"God will orchestrate...." and yet how many times have I cursed the very thing in which He meant for me to grow through?? Lord, forgive my selfish short-sightedness and help me to see the love you have for me.

[Craig McConnell]

Jodi,
Wow!Your story, again, reminds me of the power of testimony and story. Thank you.

[Craig McConnell]

"The Misunderstood God". All too commonly true.

[Craig McConnell]

Danielle,
I don't need no stinking "heady" comments.

[Nichole Meitner]

Im glad that Darren posted that previous post. I too struggle with trusting in God and find that when I finally feel confident in my relationship with Him He takes me to a different level of hurt and mistrust that He wants to heal..It definantly is a process..but Im learning that He's a Daddy that wants to do nothing but love you and take care of you..

[Craig McConnell]

Vern,
I love you man!

[Craig McConnell]

Jodi,
"He is winning my heart to Himself....He ever gently led me to the place where we walked through the FEAR together and He ever so gently helped me to see that His heart is good towards us....He didn't want to see me live in fear for the rest of my life." Well said, thank you for saying it.

[Craig McConnell]

Drew,
We do often misinterpret all that's unfolding in our lives. Community, conversational intimacy with God, and a growing grasp of His word shape the lense we see through.

[~jo]

Craig, you said...

"I begin to look for Him at odd and unusual times… outside of church, in a U2 song, in the middle of an argument, when I had the flu or the transmission failed. In odd and difficult situations, with positive and negative emotions my posture was one of questions and seeking, “Are you (God) here… in this?” “God, where are you?” “Is that you?”

And He’s shown up time and time again making Himself known, answering me, speaking, He’s jumped out of the bushes and snuck up behind me enough that His being present is a reflexive lens I now view life from, because it’s true. Truly true!"

Yes...I have found the same thing...which is why I don't automatically resist suffering in whatever form it may come.

May suffering hold you until you are able to stop struggling and to be still. And in the stillness, to see with new eyes and savor all the treasures that have been hidden in the suffering especially for you from the heart of our God. For even suffering bows to, obeys, and does the work of the Lord. And our Dad is always breaking out of boxes to prove that He's a big enough God for us.

You and yours remain in my thoughts and prayers....

[~jo]

BTW, Craig...
I hope that my previous post came across as a prayer of blessing rather than as something...uhm..."instructional."
For who am I to instruct you? :)