Burglarized

Lori, our two daughters (who were 8 and 11 at the time) and I were out mid-day doing something…

Cheer leading practice? Shopping for wardrobe updating deals at GAP? Picking up NKOTB’s new CD? A little time on the beach? I don’t recall.

Returning home I scrape a hub cap pulling the mini-van up to the front of our house and notice that our front door is open. Huh???

As I walk up the front walkway and then up to the front porch I'm suspicious, nervous and very confused. Something is wrong.

There are moments when some event that is so outside our experience of life confronts us and freezes our brain’s processing ability. Zzzzzit... errrkit... buzz... shiiiii ...clunk… you have to reboot at break neck speed… What is this?      Pillows by the front door… overturned chair… it wasn’t like that when we left was it?      NO!      Huh... what?    I pause at the front of the door with a confused look that’s turning into one of shock-fear-rage… our home has been ransacked? Burglarized? I gasp in disbelief, shock… Why? When…. Are they still inside?

I ask Lori to go in to check things out while I stay with the kids.     I'm kidding!!! 

I walk in telling the family to stay curbside… I grab the first thing that’ll serve as a weapon; it happens to be a ruler sitting on a stand by the door… the house is trashed.

I now know what the word violated means but I can’t come close to describing it.

We call the police and take a first pass at damage assessment. All dresser drawers have been dumped, closets emptied, the floor is covered. The Stereo is gone. Lori’s jewelry is gone. It’s only a moment later that the weight of the loss hits Lori. She weeps deeply over her mother’s heirloom jewelry being stole… to the despoiling pillaging snake it’s a few quick bucks, to Lori it’s something of her mother she can still touch, it’s generations of memories taken forever.  Vile marauders from hell!

A bunch of stuff is gone. The final insult was that the creeps even took my 8 year old daughter’s pink piggy bank!  (A small satisfaction came knowing that upon breaking open her porky bank the punk ass thief would only find some change and an I.O.U for most of the cash… I’d robbed it about a week earlier! Hey… there wasn’t an ATM close by!)

A full inventory of all that’s been lost from any violation, robbery or otherwise takes much longer than you realize. We reported to our insurance company all we could materially identify but then a week later Lori says, “Honey, grab the camera as were walking out the door to go to a picnic”. I go to the closet where we keep the camera. It’s gone. Oh, they stole that too!

A month later we’re having company over and are trying to find a silver platter… we’re looking everywhere accusing each other of not putting it where it belonged after its last use… Ahhh… the slim took that too.

The police said the intruder was only in our home a few minutes but for a long, long season it seemed as if they were still there. Often it seemed like there were a dozen sleazy red beady eyes looking through the windows or from around a corner snickering at our loss, our pain and our fear. It was as if these pirating rodents were mocking the security and peace we once enjoyed as a family; celebrating their intrusion into our minds and setting into motion an anxiety every single time we return to our home.

“Is it safe… is someone inside… have we been crapped on again? Are they prowling about, scheming to rob us of everything they haven’t already… or to steal all we’ve acquired since…  our new stereo, camera… a silver tray or another night’s sleep?”

I've often thought back on this trauma. It was horrible. And I realize it wasn't the first time nor the last.

 A lot got stolen from my childhood and youth through various wounds. Things like "family", innocence, identity, security, fathering, a whole lot of brain cells (circa 1967-1972)… so very much.

I remember a poker game… several good friends sitting around playing poker having a beer and then something is said/implied… unintentionally it strikes a wound, a deep wound…assumptions and agreements are made. Those good friends haven’t played poker together in 6 years. Something got stolen.

What's been stolen from you over the years?

Recent accounts I've heard:

A 12 year marriage. The husband’s wound and script for life leads him to the conclusion: “She’s too much work!” and his every attempt to love be strong, be present seems to have only failed. So, to preserve the “peace” he gives up the battle and messiness and goes passive, doesn’t care, and finds another lover on the internet or on a business trip. Something was lost, something stolen.

A colleague at work who became a friend in all kinds of missions and mischief… leaves. The transition is hard but the commitment is to stay in touch… there’s too much history to walk away from. Something happens and he burns all his bridges. Every single one. Something prized, something special is stolen or lost.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

The thief will take everything he can from you!

The good news is that he can be stopped. He must be.

And there is a life, that no matter what else gets taken, cannot be stolen from us. Ever. No way!

- Craig McConnell

 

Comments

[Victor Encinas]

Thanks, Craig. I remember being very young when our house was robbed. After stealing valuables the dogs poured harsh toilet cleaning chemicals all over the toilet seats and carpet. Did they even want to physically hurt us? A piece of my trust for mankind had been lost/stolen.

I know though that God's love for me can never be stolen, not even by me or my sinful actions. Good reminder from you today. Thanks brother.

Victor Encinas

[David Felts]

It's great to have you back Craig! I like what you are saying, and as I read this I couldn't help but think back to this past April and what the enemy stole from my family. I think I've been walking with this around my neck for a while now, that uncertainty of what is going to happen next.

I love how you ended your blog with the phrase, "cannot be stolen from us." and that is so true, but what came to my heart as I read that was it cannot be stolen, but it can be given away. We have to stay on our guard against the enemy and not give away what we have gotten from the Lord.

Again, it's good to have you back man, I've been missing you!

[Rebecca]

My heart is broken for Lori, and sincerely desires to replace her stolen heirloom jewelry. I'm so glad the piggy bank was relatively empty; but how you must desire to replace the lost feelings of security in your children. The good news is that God uses these horrible experiences to draw us closer to Him. I'd like to share one of my stories of loss in hopes that it will encourage someone. I prayed for my future husband and children from the age of nine. I married a man with whom I ministered for several years and was convinced that we would have a strong, Godly marriage. After our son was born (which was a miracle in itself), I discovered that my husband had a sex addiction and was visiting literally hundreds of prostitutes. Talk about feeling violated! He refused God's healing/counseling, so divorce ensued. The church we were attending had no idea how to minister to an addict or the family victims of addiction, so our wounds grew deeper and deeper - so much disillusionment! However, God had a wonderful plan. Through all of the hurt, God has reached in and touched my son and me. My boy is 15 now, and he has a strong walk with God. We're stronger people because of our losses, and we're amazed at all of the hurting people God brings into our lives each day. We're perfectly suited to minister to them because of our past hurts and current struggles living in a "blended family," as I remarried four years ago. God blessed us with an outstanding man to be my spouse and my son's step-father, and our lives are richer because of his presence in our daily lives. The enemy definitely robbed my son and me of our family and security, but God has given us abundantly more than we could ask or think. We still feel that sting of sadness that our family dissolved, and we still pray that my former spouse will allow God to heal his wounds, but we have to admit that years after the deep wounds, we're better people, stronger somehow. I know that Lori will never have her physical connection (jewelry) to her mother, but I get the feeling that God will give her something much more satisfying. Perhaps it will be some rich, tender memory to hold on to. Maybe it will be a loving part of her mother that comes out in her parenting or blesses her grandchildren someday. Most certainly, He will use her loss to make her more intimately connected to others who have been violated and suffered loss in similar ways. He's already used her to touch my heart through the "Captivating" DVD series, and in my heart, that adds an heirloom jewel (from the lineage of Christ) to her Heavenly crown. :-)

[Craig McConnell]

Victor,

So many things CAN be lost, given away or stolen. Much can befall us... but, the Father's heart for us remains constant, unassailable!

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8

- Craig

[Craig McConnell]

David,
Life, resurrection, love, goodness... God wins in the end. All the time, everytime, no exceptions. Life reigns. - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

Rebecca...

Your words echo the story of so many who, through the centuries, have endured so much...

"The enemy definitely robbed my son and me of our family and security, but God has given us abundantly more than we could ask or think. We still feel that sting of sadness that our family dissolved, and we still pray that my former spouse will allow God to heal his wounds, but we have to admit that years after the deep wounds, we're better people, stronger somehow."

Thank you for sharing your story! - Craig

[Wayne Shaw]

Craig, I echo what's been said; good to see you hear. So true, so much can be stolen from us, therefore let us keep our eyes on the things that can't. Your story reminds me of how we can't just "get over it", even years after a trauma like this visits us: whether homelessness, natural disaster, family betrayal, or "petty" theft (which is sort of like "minor" surgery; there's no such thing). Myself, I've been fortunate in some respects, never having had out and out, brazen breaking-and-entry burglary like that, but I have had all of the above except natural disaster happen. Whatever it is, we cannot just "get over it". I have heard that nonsense so many times from otherwise seemingly good people. It is a lie I have had to learn the hard way to dismiss.

So again, thank you for your story, and for allowing us to fight alongside you in however small a way to heal these wounds together. Truly, let's lay up treasures in heaven where thieves do not and cannot break in.

[Craig McConnell]

Wayne,
Great, great response!!! I love the reminder of Matthew 6:19-20. So very, very, very true. Your words are strong and encouraging. Thanks - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

A while back I was in the middle of a "Four Stream" session with several praying over me and a vivid picture came to mind. The picture was of a cave of pirate treasure, a cavern similar to the one you float by on Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean with chests of teasure spilling over; jewelry, gold and silver, candlesticks, crowns, art, vases, fine material, spices… all of it stolen booty.

I heard God's heart, "You've had the equivalent stolen from your heart, soul, and life". It was sobering to see all that, over the years, has be stolen.

And then the words of Christ, "Let's get it back!". - Craig

[Brad Rohrich]

Craig I always look forward to your blogs. You are such a great man with a great heart.

My most recent robbery from that "punk ass thief" is my joy of fishing. My joy....gone...robbed...stolen. I have loved fishing since somewhere around probably 4 years old. This year it has been such a huge fight to even be able to go, and when I do, it seems my joy just isn't there like it used to be. I am on a search mission for my belongings that were stolen. It is something dear to my heart. It has been hard to explain to others how just the joy of fishing was up and stolen one day.....someday I will find it again. Still searching while being more aware of my kingdom and what is still at stake of being stolen. I have found I need to be offensive against that thief and can't just always be defensive and expecting Father to protect me from our enemy. I need to resist him. I need to go to battle. I am a warrior.

[Craig McConnell]

Brad,
Good example... many of us have lost hobbies, interests and important relationships. So often, what has ultimately been stolen is "Joy". The joy a sport/hobby brings, the even deeper joy significant relationships bring.... As John Eldredge has often said, "Our joy is opposed". May Christ restore that which has been taken. - Craig

[Brock S. Henning]

Craig, so good to see (or read) you again on the blog, although I hate hearing about what happened. The battle is on brutha, against our dark enemy, and we're in this together. Our spiritual foxholes extend across the miles. Praying for you guys as I type this.

[David Leach]

You nailed it again Craig!

After being unemployed for over two years now, the enemy has been working overtime reminding me of the things I have lost as a result. And no, it's not just the money.

I've lost the dignity of providing for my family... the joy of being able to give to those who do not have... the satisfaction of a job well done.

But know this, through your words in this blog (not just this one, but all of them), I feel a little bit better about things and I feel like I'm not alone.

Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for not being too proud to let us see your challenges.

The thing I love about you is that there's nothing fake about your life. You're "realness" is one of the reasons you are the great man you have shown yourself to be.

Love ya, man!!

[Craig McConnell]

Oh my gosh Brock... (see next comment). - Thank you for your words. - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

David et alii,

Your story is so very much what I NEED to hear at this moment. This actual very moment!!!

Several things unfolded today that, apparently, have culminated in a wave of fear this evening. It's actually more like the terror of there NOT being any God, zero Larger Story, no hope, no life, and no love... that my life is meaningless and I will die alone an exposed fraud.

Earlier in the day (after seeing my Oncologist) I sensed God telling me, or exposing in me, an agreement I've made with death. I renounced it and began to see how it has had a foothold in my life.

This feels like a counter-attack. It's like some dark higher ranking demon is throwing everything at me challenging my renouncement.

I've been praying, clinging to God and his word; cleansed the whole house... It's been beyond my previous experiences... brutal.

In your words, your testimony, your story God has come!!!

And let me say, our victory over every thing that assails us in the sacrificial death and shed blood, the triumphant resurrection and the glorious ascension of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!!

[jill]

It's so good to hear your blogging "voice" again. :-)

[Rielynn]

I always love hearing/reading your heart Craig! Thank God for joy, love and hope. It's a good reminder in the spirit that the enemy can't take what we don't give him. It's so hard and a life long practice, but very empowering at the same time. We are powerful people filled with the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead! This is such a good story to remind us that we do have an enemy, he is on the prowl, but we can triumph over anything that the enemy might throw our way - we have the tool belt of Heaven! I love that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God - NOTHING!

[Uilleam]

Dear brother, this speaks to so much that is rolling around in my life right now. I got notice a couple of weeks ago that my position had been cut, immediately! Crap!

I'd had some thoughts about this previously...like, "What if I lost my job, what would I do? What would my family think? How would I take care of them? How much of my identity is wrapped up in what I do and who I think people think of me because of my job, and because I'm a good provider?" And now that it's happened, I run back & forth between wanting to cling to the identity Father has given me (do I really know it, believe it?) and scrambling to hold on to any shred of my previous job.

Your words are so true, as are David's above. There's a grieving that's occurring of not only the loss of job but of all the other implications as well.

It's like C.S. Lewis' story of the loss of a friend. "Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's reaction to a specifically Caroline joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him "to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald."

When something or someone is stolen from us, we lose so much more than the initial loss. Those heirlooms stolen from Lori are the loss of not just jewelry, but of memories, attachments, the feelings of being a part of larger family when she put the jewelry on, the feelings of honoring a love one by the adornment...all lost as well.

The depth of grief comes over time, the loss of your camera and silver platter, not immediately realized and you feel violated again and again.

Now, each time one of my customers calls, I have to tell them that I can no longer take care of them and I know I'm losing that relationship and also my perceived feeling I get that I can no longer take care of this person's needs, I am no longer a care-taker, a problem solver. Not only does this thief steal, but he tries to convince me that what I no longer have is much more than a loss of job, but a loss of some piece of myself, that I so willingly give up to him.

And as it should be, I have no where to run, but to my Father, as a prodigal who has squandered his identity to other lovers. Welcome me home, father...welcome me home.

I vacillate between sadness and grief and depression and wanting to not waste my grief and sorrow but I hesitate to run to my Father because I feel He'll say, "Oh no, here he comes again." How I badly judge Him. How badly I judge myself.

[Craig McConnell]

Jill,
Thank you! It's good to begin to get my blogging "voice" back. - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

Uilleam,
You have such clarity of the ripple effect of loss and grief. Thank you for giving it words.

AND I love your recognition of the redemptive fiber in all of our sin, mistakes, and tragedies... "And as it should be, I have no where to run, but to my Father, as a prodigal who has squandered his identity to other lovers. Welcome me home, father...welcome me home."

May our hesitation to "run" vanish. Simply vanish.

Ahhhh, to know him as he truly is and to rest in his heart for us. - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

Rie...You da bomb!

[David Elliott]

Craig, Thanks so much for writing again. I've so enjoyed your blogs. You really encourage me. It's not really the words per se, but your heart. It's beautiful to "hear." The "fragrance of Christ" is all over it. God's richest blessings to you today!

[Dave Brown]

i am sorry that you lost several irreplaceable things. i also have lost much in my life. some of it is my fault, things i gave away. some of it is just because i live in this world, and live among men that have no honor. forgiveness is the only ointment that cools the burn of loss. i forgive those that took those irreplaceable things from me, and i pray that God will bless them and not hold it against them. i forgive myself for doing as our forefather Adam did, giving so much away so cheaply. i also try remember that this is a temporary term we spend here on earth. there will come a time when things are laid open for all to see. i will not need to speak in my defence. before all those who hate me, standing before the great throne i will be silent, and my deeds and motives will be shown for all to see. on that day i will receive much more than what i had lost in this life, all i have to do is be patient and let the full process take place.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

19“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

[Kim]

For 23 years I have had a perfect driving record when it comes to accidents. All my life I have been in relatively good shape and truly believe God's protective hand is active in my life.
Until the end of September. At a very busy intersection, at a very busy part of the day, I was rear ended. I was in shock but after we exchanged insurance information I sat in my car in disbelief. I wanted to cry but...nothing. Within days I suffered whiplash that limited my movements and instantly restricted all parts of my everyday living.
Until a couple weeks later. Again I was rear ended but even harder by a person talking on their cell phone while trying to make a meeting. Instantly I started crying. Uncontrollably. My head exploded in pain as I experienced whiplash all over again.
I knew my health was...stolen. I knew I was changed. I knew it was place I had never been before and more than ever, I felt helpless. Recovery isn't predictable. The only guarantee was that I would feel pain every day and I had choices as to how to resolve that pain. Doctors would give advice and anaylsis, pills and exercises, relaxation techniques and ice/heat packs but all would say how they never saw one person in two accidents so close together.
But I have been refined.
Thank you for writing again, Craig. I've missed your thought provoking messages that inspire me to analyze my spiritual state. May God continue to refine you also!
Many blessings to you and your family!

[Craig McConnell]

Thank you David!

[Craig McConnell]

Dave,
You cited one of my favorite passages. I could, and often do, read it over and over again.

"...store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Thank you for the reminder, and the hope! - Craig

[Craig McConnell]

Kim,
I've read your response over several times and felt three very different things.

First, the "squirm" I typically feel hearing of another's suffering. The "squirm" is some internal reaction of, "Oh my God, I don't think I could go through anything like THAT.... please, please, please spare me."

The second or third reading I found myself tearing up for the pain, losses, and adaptations you've had to make. They're the tears of recognizing that heaven is yet to come and we DO ache and suffer mightily in this life. I remember someone saying that life in Act III (here, now, on this earth) consists of groaning and worship. I groan with you and for you.

Then, after another reading I found myself deeply aware of the life, hope, comfort and joy you've found... we've found in God's redemptive presence. I join you in longing for more of God's involvement in my everyday joys and tragedies.

Your words, your story I can read again and again. Thank you for sharing it! - Craig

[Vern Hyndman]

Watched Alan Alda and And Ellen Burstyn in "Same Time Next Year"... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078199/

I remember watching it in 1978... as a teenager, and back then, the prime emotion was the weird sort of exhilaration of sexuality, and an odd sense of what it would be like to live such a lie. And in the movie, just a peek at the destruction, a few lines of dialog about Alda's character's wife having known and carrying the burden for a while.

Who knew what was to be stolen from me... who knew I wouldn't ever be anything like Alan Alda in this flick, but that my life would be crushed beyond what the movie could possibly portray... and that a couple of decades later the calling of my ife would germinate from the devastation.

I have lived past loss, past violation, past betrayal... I have lived smack into the middle of redemption. Maybe it's not the height of redemption that produces joy... maybe it's the distance from the bottom to the top. I'm waiting, these days, for what I know is coming. It's not the heirlooms, they are dust now. It's not what I had, because what I had is a distant echo... it's what I know is coming... not someday, but immanently, that will become the vehicle for what I have found as my calling.

OK, so maybe not a chariot of fire... but something. We'll see.

C raig, as always, thanks my brother... you rattle stuff loose in me.