My Tax Day Tradition

It’s tax time.

I chafe paying the amount of taxes I do. 

I’m not an anarchist imagining “there’s no country… nothing to kill or die for and no religion too.” Nope, I’ve been there, done that! I do believe in giving back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s. it’s just that Caesar is more and more of a greedy !*#?%!

My grousing isn’t new or partisan. Decades ago, I began a tradition on the eve prior to sending in my Federal Tax check. I’d be fully present and engaged with Lori and our girls. As bedtime approached I’d make the rounds tucking in, tickling, and kissing each “goodnight” with a prayer and the benediction, “sleep with the Angels”. Then I’d hunt down the pint of whiskey buried either in the back of the spice cabinet, under the kitchen sink right next to the fire extinguisher or in the garage stowed in our Earthquake/Riot/Economic-collapse emergency bin.

Now, this wasn’t some high-end trendy single malt scotch; it had to be, and continues to be a cantankerous cheap unrepentant low-end bourbon. I’d take the bottle, a glass and my Bible into our living room and park myself on the couch. The room was empty, quiet and dark. The street light in front of our home provided enough light for my passionate reading of 1 Samuel chapter 8.

Chapter 8 is the story of God’s people demanding a king to lead them instead of looking to and following God as their King. God’s response to their rejection is a solemn warning...

 "This is what the king who will reign over you will do: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots.  Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. Your menservants and maidservants and the best of your cattle and donkeys he will take for his own use. He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves.  When that day comes, you will cry out for relief…”

Okay, every year at this point of the story I'm doing two things: I’m crying out for relief and wondering why? Why? Why did those schmucks choose a king over the King of Kings... the living God!!! 

And the story continues…

...the people refused to listen to Samuel. "No!" they said. "We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles."

 When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the LORD. The LORD answered, "Listen to them and give them a king."

Here is where, according to tradition, I throw back a shot of my gnarly hooch and begin to rant, deprecate, fuss, protest, wail and yammer against the growing grip of kings… and all they take and all they waste. I growl at the fraud, corruption, pork, injustice, un-intended-consequences and incompetence of it all.

I may or may not have another slug, but what always happens as my evening ends is an agitation at the choice the luke-warm, half-hearted posing schmucks of 1 Samuel 8 made!

... And I'm shamed to silence confessing that I too choose some king, leader, expositor or the principles/tips/techniques/guru de rigueur over the sovereign fathering heart of God in the day to day world that is my life.  

The internal dynamic/temptation of my rejecting of God goes something like this:

 Hey... this walking with God is messy, mysterious, involves a Larger Story and often focused on internal realities... Right now I''d prefer a smaller story and a few external things to change right now... actually yesterday. I need relief, i need someone to lead me to the promised land as i envision it (and I have a extensive clear picture of how it ought to be), someone to go out before me and guarantee that If I follow him my entire life will be orgasmic bliss... with all my tormenting lions laying down with sheep... gimme someone who'll fight my battles victoriously for me .. or eliminate the battles all together... yeah, I want a chicken in my pot, a clean bill of health, a car that runs, a fat bank account... yeah baby, that's what I want in these chaotic times and circumstances! I want a king... a real life, flesh on flesh king and a new stereo! Promise this and you'll be my king!

 And somewhere in all of that I turn from the One who gives life to some counterfeit "king" who takes all I have and all I am, leaving me with nothing. 

Like my ancient forefathers, I'm crying out for relief.

Lord save me from my idolatry, forgive my waywardness, and know my heart, for it surely longs to surrender, abide, follow and give to You all that's due. You are my King, the Lord of Lords. I worship you!

 

Comments

[David Felts]

Ahh, like a fresh drink of water to a hot and thirsty man. That is what your blog posts are to me Craig. I appreciate your willingness to share "who" you are and not just a typical teaching. It's in the sharing of who you are that inspires me to do the same with those that are in my sphere of influence. Thanks for that bro...

[Brad Eye]

Wow Craig, I am a man in the middle of the hardest times in my life and what you shared here is just what I needed to hear. I am crying out for relief. Your heart and leadership is so important to so many men and women, be encouraged.

[Vern Hyndman]

Craig my brother... I love that you lead by example. I love that you know you've settled for comfort and a king over the wild and woolly life with the King.

And I love that we're not so stuck that we can't abandon the king we've chosen and become open to the King who has chosen us.

When you write, brother Craig, you open my heart and help me feel the love of the King.

Thanks for sharing your gifts... your gift of perspective, your gift of story telling, your gift of writing, and most of all your gift of presence.... Jesus through Craig.

[Tony S.]

ugh. So true. I've also begged for King's...and why?

Reminds me of Cypher, from The Matrix:

Cypher: You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize?
[Takes a bite of steak]
Cypher: Ignorance is bliss.

...Lord, help me see the truth of the lie that Cypher bought, and not go there. Thanks Craig, Tony

[Craig McConnell]

David,
Thank you... I too am refreshed.

[Craig McConnell]

"I am a man in the middle of the hardest times in my life..." You my friend are not alone in this!

May our LORD, our King, our strong and loving Father engulf you in His arms, may you hear His heart pound for you, and in His presence may you know that you lack nothing.

May He bring you green pastures upon which you can lay, 
may he lead you beside quiet waters, 
may he refresh your soul.


Brad, He will guide you along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though you are walking through the darkest valley, you need not fear evil, for The God of Angel Armies is with you; His rod and staff, will comfort you.

May your heart cry out to Him, “prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 
Anoint my head with oil; fill my cup till it overflows.”

Surely his goodness and love will follow you all the days of your life! You will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (a paraphrase of Psalm 23)

- Craig

[jill dyer]

Whenever you write, my heart smiles and agrees and says "Oh! There you are!" You are a good man and your words, your life, your presence is valued. May the bourban be good and may Jesus be so near you that Chosen is the name you bear for glory every day.

[Craig McConnell]

Vern... you are my brother!

[~jo]

"Lord save me from my idolatry, forgive my waywardness, and know my heart, for it surely longs to surrender, abide, follow and give to You all that's due. You are my King, the Lord of Lords. I worship you!"

Amen.

Thanks, Craig. Especially tonight I am glad to know that I'm not alone in my human frailty and sin. Thank you for being "the real deal."

I usually post a blessing to you when I comment, and I don't want to leave you without writing one, however, I'm nearly out of words. Therefore, all I have to offer tonight is this...

May you always be "the real deal," and in being so, deeply experience the friendship of the Lord.

[Charlie Smith]

Craig! I love and value the friendship you have offered. Live long and prosper my friend!!

[Wayne Shaw]

What Brad Eye said. And Craig's right, you're not alone in this. Perhaps I should say, I too am not alone in this. In some ways, living on the street as a confused young man was easier, which is saying a lot, as anyone who has ever "been there" can attest.

I love my job, my family (wife's and my side), but man....don't get me started. God, why can't you just fix this? Send me a savior! (Duh. "I've already done that, my son.")

At such a time as this, I needed the laughter too. Not AT you, of course, but right along with you, and with the rest of us who sorely need that light heart, as we have a good look at ourselves. I think that may bear repeating. Have a GOOD look at ourselves. And realize GOD is able to save to the uttermost, not some "king". Thank you, Craig.

[CJ]

Thanks for your authentic words Craig. You write in a way that anyone can identify with something. Thanks for the refreshing look at that passage of scripture as well.

[Nat Ersoz]

When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel’s leaders ... They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.

But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; ...

Hmm, let's see Samuel is ticked off because the elders don't want Samuel's sons to become the new priests.

Samuel was a narcissistic fool (in this instance). Instead of accepting criticism it was Samuel who insisted that his sons maintain power and influence through the Temple.

Oh, I have never seen this pattern repeated in the modern church. Pastor's ego is on fire: "If you don't do what I say you're just the grumbling children of Israel." Phooey.

Megalomania did not start with Samuel and it certainly won't end there.

On anther note: my Federal Tax burden was about 12% this year. A typical year. Not a significant burden considering we now have 3 foreign wars to fund and $1T+ budget deficit.

Enough with the whining.

[Rand Sondrol]

Nat
We all would appreciate any contribution you can spare above the 12%, I'm sure the government will take it gladly. Read the original entry again, for your sake.
Rand S

[I Sison]

thank you, thank you. please, keep writing whenever you are led, you are such an encouragement. I don't know what effect it had on me, but I totally resonate with your thoughts, and your writing lets us experience and see the usual things in a much vivid nonetheless realistic view. God bless you always, as well as your family.

[Kenny Nilsen]

We Jews have one traditional night for drinking. If you know the book of Esther, you understand how out of hand government can get when a Persian king makes only laws which cannot be changed (Like the pope in a sense--no offense dear Catholic friends). God guided and provided so that on the full moon of march Jews of 500 BC would defend themselves and plunder those who would have done the same to them. So we celebrate the holiday Purim.

[dolly]

craig! your'e super funny and somehow at the same time so right. God save me from idolatry!! Thanks so much for saying what you a say and how you do it..

[Paul Jones]

I love a man who can read the Bible and have a bottle of scotch nearby! Thanks for being real, brother, and for challenging us all to examine the kings we've placed on the thrones of our hearts.

[David Tinquist]

How true it is. People put so much faith in politics, in their government, in "getting the right people into power". But God is sovereign. Even if the whole world were taken over by the worst tyrants of this or that political/social/economic system, what would it matter? Yes, people would suffer. But is God deaf to the cries of the oppressed?

Until people's hearts are renewed and strengthened by God and God alone, no nation on this earth can last. I pray God gives us better leaders, or failing that, that whatever "correction" he has for this world falls gently on us.

[Jason Franks]

Craig, I feel like Brad above whom said he was in the middle of the hardest times in his life. Although I feel like I'm starting to maybee see some light at the end of the tunnel. I love what you shared with Psalm 23. Our pastor preached from the same scripture today. I think of how faiths purpose isn't just to keep us from doing bad things or bad things from happening to us (allthough faith will do those things), but the other purpose is to help us whenever times get tough. Without faith what would we do or what do people do whom don't have faith. I'm with you guys. I'm looking forward to days of refreshing and rest. I'm getting weary.

[Wash]

Craig, you two-faced bastard,you're a real piece of work.....how dare you call John Lennon an anarchist?

[Support Squad]

We should value the friendship just like how we value our self! Craig you've done a very nice post. I am looking forward for another inspiring post from you!