Healing the Past

I had a remarkable and unexpected opportunity this last weekend.

I'd gone back to southern California to visit my aging parents. My dad is in a nursing home know and it was good to see him. My mom needed some help around their old house as well, and I was glad to be able to fix some things for her. But the unexpected gift came as I drove around the neighborhoods in which I grew up.

I found myself praying through my past. The loneliness of my junior high years. The rebellion of my high school days. As I drove around I would remember a person or an event, and simply invite Jesus into it. It was extraordinarily redemptive. It felt like Jesus and I were walking back through all sorts of things from the past, and as we did I could feel the emotion or the old way of looking at things, and I could invite Christ into it to make it his own.

I think God actually does this more often than we know. He'll bring up something that will trigger a memory - we might have a dream, or visit an old haunt of ours, we might see an old friend or sometimes all it takes is just a certain smell like cut grass or a donut shop and bam, we are back in some period of our life. In those moments, invite Jesus into it, into that period in your life. And linger there for a bit, allowing his Spirit to show you what to pray.

I found myself asking his forgiveness for the sins of my youth (Psalm 25:7) and the cleansing of that felt very important for my life and freedom now, in the present. (So many of these things retain a kind of hold on us, decades later.) At other moments I found myself inviting Jesus into an old relationship and what I found there was his love re-writing my past, coming into it. But most of all, I found myself expressing gratitude for how he has truly saved me. The contrast of my life from then till now was stunning to me. Change and sanctification take place so gradually that we often don't see how far we've come until we look back.

It is a powerful thing to redeem the past, bring it under the rule of Jesus and invite him to fill it. I think this is why he will bring it up in the present through some reminder of days gone by. When he does, invite Jesus into it, give it to him, let him heal or affirm or cleanse or redeem or return to you some gift of life he gave but you lost over time..

Jesus Really

Stasi and I ran into an old acquaintance this last week. Someone we hadn't seen in what felt like eons. My reaction was somewhat surprising.

I wanted to throw myself on the ground and thank Jesus for delivering us from that view of God. (Now, that would have been a little awkward to do in their presence. So, I waited till I got home.)

By "that view" I mean a view of Jesus and Christianity that is so very widespread in the church. It goes something like this: You can't really know Jesus intimately. He is about more important things. But you must revere God from afar, because he is so high and lifted up and you are nothing. Humility is best expressed as self loathing. Godliness is available apart from intimacy with Jesus. It involves morality, mostly. But more so, holding the correct positions. Knowledge about God is mistaken for knowing God. Righteousness is purely external, behavioral. The heart is never to be looked at. Jesus is never someone you could hear laugh, or who would be concerned with the longings of your soul. In fact, Jesus isn't used much; "God" is the preferred person whom we address. Using Jesus is simply looked upon as too casual.

I once held to that. And I shudder.

As George MacDonald wrote, "Good souls many will one day be horrified at the things they now believe of God."

You understand, I trust, that there are many views of Jesus out there in the church. Some are closer to the truth than others. You also understand, I hope, that a false view of Jesus is worse than no view, because you think you hold the right thing you never go in search for him really.

a dear friend heard a sermon recently that basically went like this: You can't really know Jesus, because he isn't like your friends. He is vastly different from us. I think the attempt was to invoke reverence. But the teaching is from hell. You can know Jesus intimately, better than your friends. Or what in the world was the incarnation for? Jesus came for the very purpose that we might know God. Be intimate with him. Everything else is a sideshow.

And so the very best thing you could ever pray is "Jesus, I ask you for the real you; take away every false Christ and show me the real you."

Burritos

I love a good burrito.

Warm, home-made tortilla, carnitas or barbacoa steeped in their own juices for hours, fresh salsa, rice, beans, guacamole - o man, I'm making myself hungry just talking about it. If you've had a really good burrito, you know what I mean.

Here's the problem: you can get something called burritos at any gas station these days. They typically come frozen and you're supposed to put them in the microwave to resuscitate them. Now, they look like a burrito...kind of. They smell like a burrito...kind of. But they are not even close to the real thing. And yet, they are called "burritos." It says so right on the plastic package. Burrito.

This is where we are with the Gospel now.

You can pull into any church or ministry and be offered something called "the Gospel." And there's just enough Jesus words to make it sound like the Gospel...kind of. It looks like Christianity...kind of. It smells like Christianity...kind of. But it isn't even close to the real thing.

And yet, it is packaged and marketed as Christianity.

So here's a simple test: Does it do what the Scriptures say the Gospel will do? Does it heal the brokenhearted? Set captives free? Does it draw people into a genuine intimacy with God, where experiencing his presence is normal? Really?

If not, dump it like a gas station burrito. Go get the real thing.

I'm Back!

hi gang. I'm back. From my sabbatical. (In case you were wondering "where the heck has he been?" I've been on sabbatical for the past several months.)

It was really good. I was in desperate need of rest and restoration - physically, emotionally, spiritually. And I don't do rest well, so God had me get to the point where I simply had to break away.

A few years ago I was watching a special on the Iditarod and was absolutely intriuged to learn about the sled dogs that can run such a ruthless race. That sled dogs are the most physically fit animal in the world. That they love to run, live to run and the problem with that is...they don't know when to stop.

The men and women who win the Iditarod have calculated down to a science the best way to run their dogs. Now for the part that blew me away: they have discovered that the perfect formula is to rest the dogs more than they run them. (That was completely unnerving o a guy who loves to run, lives to run, and doesn't know best when to stop.) Of course, the dogs won't adopt this formula on their own. They have to have good masters who make them rest. Otherwise, they'd just run themselves ragged.

(Hmmm. I am a sled dog.)

It brought new meaning to the 23rd Psalm: He makes me lie down in green pastures, he restores my soul. We all want the restored soul part. But it only comes when we accept the lying down part. So, God makes us...if we will cooperate.

Anyhow, that is where I've been. Seeking rest and restoration. 

And, its great to be back. I have SO much to share, I hope to get back into a regular rhythm of blogging.

Meanwhile, where does your soul need restoration? And how are you seeking God's plan for that?

"Where the heck have you been?"

I know. I know. In the world of blogging I have been gone since, like, the 17th Century. I woke up this morning and realised, "You just disappeared, John, and didn't tell them where you were going."

As soon as we returned from the epic Wales Boot Camp in late May, I began a sabbatical. Part spiritual, part medical, this sabbatical was longgggg overdue and desparately needed. So, I sorta ran out the door (literally) with a bag stuffed with clothes, books, journals, cigars, fishing gear, granola bars and yep, pretty much fell off the planet.

at least you now know why I've been silent as a blogger.

Now, truth is, I thought I'd blog through my sabbatical. You know, honest thoughts about how important sabbath is, and raw stuff on what taking sabbatical is like. Then I realised, how twisted is that? I mean good grief. The whole purpose of a sabbatical is major unplug for restoration.

Part of what I needed to deal with on sabbatical was this irony of "be productive, keep your voice out there, have something to show for this" stuff. I was even going to video some of it. Whew. Pretty wacked out. I mean, the opposite of sabbatical, right?

so, that's why I have been offline. And will be for a bit longer.

But I did want to say hello, and I'm doing well, and sorry for dashing out the door and leaving my cereal bowl on the counter and my socks on the floor.

Hope you are well, too. Do sieze what you can of summer joy before the rush of the fall demands swallows you up in its momentum.

Summer sabbath

So, yesterday was the official "first day of summer," if you hadn't noticed. Summer has begun. 

Though my hunch is, most of us have already jumped the gun and embarked on summer like intentions. The bar-b-que is out, we've gone to the lake once or twice, or enjoyed eating outside or working on a tan or got our tomatoes planted or maybe only (at least) begun to think about what we'd like to do with summer.

I, for one, am trying to get a bit of sabbath rest this summer. To help me, if not get the rest than at least think about sabbath a bit more than I do, I've been reading Dan Allender's wonderful book entitled (waddya know) "Sabbath." In it Dan recounts a conversation he overheard, two people "boasting" about the amount of email they get and how much work they have to do. A very common conversation, on I bet we've all been a part of. Dan then notes this:

"Boasting about work is a national pastime. The one who works harder, against greater odds, and with fewer resources to gain the greatest ground wins. We are proud that we shoulder such immense responsibility..."

Yikes. We say we don't like to be so busy, but the truth is, we are absolutely addicted to it. Just trying slowing down a little and you'll see. Try ignoring your cell phone for 24 hours. Don't use facebook. Don't check your texts or emails. You'll see.

Anyhow, we went to the beach for a few days to relax and drink in warmth. I was amazed at the amount of activity was going on in a place of "down time." Folks were surfing, kite boarding, windsurfing, running on the beach, doing yoga in the park, paddle boarding, activity everywhere. Classic. Folks were spending their precious vacation sabbath going hard at it, just like they do the rest of the year. Intense about vacation, how ironic is that?

It got me thinking about how much we feel our worth through what we do, what we accomplish. How we also derive a sense of security through frantic activity, by getting on top of things. And then God says, commands even, that we take a genuine sabbath, and we don't know how.

I, for one, want to find it. So I'm going to continue this wonderful book of Dan's, and stop blogging. Just wanted to throw the thought your way that work might be in the way (even play as work) and suggest a little summer sabbath.

God as Deliverer

I was thinking about the name of Jesus. How it means "God saves," or, "God is our deliverer, our salvation."

Which got me to thinking about the idea of God as Deliverer, as opposed to, say, the preferred idea of God as Preventer. It made me realize how much I want God to be my Preventer more than Deliverer, meaning, I want him to prevent bad things from happening in my life. Prevent means it never happens to me. Deliver means I am in deep trouble and need God to rescue me. I think we all prefer the notion of God as Preventer. 

And yet, God is so much more often presented in the Bible as Deliverer. My goodness, just read the Psalms. "Arise, O Lord! Deliver me!" (3:7). "Deliver my life from the sword" (22:20). "For he will deliver the needy who cry out" (72:12). And just think about the history of God's people; it is one deliverance after another. Paul's life is as well, which causes him to say, "On him we have set our hope, that he will continue to deliver us" (2 Cor 1:10).

Not prevent. Deliver. It is a very different view of life with God.

Now, let me be quick to say that I believe God is also our Preventer. Scripture also presents him as our shield. And we have no idea all that he has shielded us from. Which is actually my point. You don't notice God as Preventer, or shield, because you don't know what was going to happen to you since God shielded you from it. All we experience is those things where we need God to rescue us, to be our Deliverer.

I think it would be helpful to come to terms with how much we'd all prefer God to be our Preventer. Because when we hold fast to this view, we experience a lot of turmoil with all those things that don't get prevented. Why did God...how come this...did I not.... You know how this works. Notice how when he doesn't prevent bad things from happening, it often throws us for a loop. We get shaken. We go to doubt, or some sort of self-accusation and blame. It causes a lot of distress.

But when we realize God is our Deliverer, it helps us not be thrown by the fact that we sometimes find ourselves thrown into the furnace. God has not abandoned us. We have not blown it. We understand God is far more Deliverer than Preventer, and we can then cry out with confidence "O God, deliver me" and wait with hopeful expectation that he will deliver.

Anyhow, the categories are beginning to prove helpful, so I thought I'd share them.

The Hardest Thing to Face

One of my favorite movies is an old Robert Duvall picture called Tender Mercies. Great story of an alcoholic country western star who hits bottom hard, finds Christ and a woman who loves him, gets his life back together. Anyhow, the theme song of the film has stayed with me for years. The central line being, "The hardest thing...for me to face...Reality." 

Ain't it the truth?

Which got me to thinking about TS Eliot's line, "Humankind cannot stand very much reality."

You know how this works. Are you still praying for Haiti? What do you even remember about 9-11? You watch a film about starving children and everything in you intends to help but three weeks later it's gone. There are things about your own life you get a glimpse of - something in your thought life you'd better get a hold of, something in your marriage you'd better face, something about your health or your finances - and three days pass and it's gone.

The hardest thing, for us to face, Reality.

It's the old trying to find our way back into Eden thing. We just want life to be good. This RULES us. (You are aware, aren't you, of how much this rules you???) We avoid the disturbing or demanding parts of reality as a matter of daily practice. We just want life to be good.

Which got me thinking about Elie Wiesel's book, "Night." It is his harrowing personal account as a Jew in eastern Europe when the Nazi's came in, and eventually sent him to concentration camp. Early in the book Wiesel describes how the Jews reacted to the encroaching Nazi threat. First, windows of Jewish businesses would be broken. "This will pass," they said. Jews were thrown out of business. "This will pass," they said. Jews were bullied and beaten. Forced to wear the yellow star. "This will pass," they said. Jews were rounded up and confined in a locked "ghetto" part of town. "This will pass." Jews were taken away, and when one escaped and returned to tell what he saw, about their brutal execution in the forest, I kid you not, the Jews said, "This will pass." 

They just refused to face reality.

The first time I read this I thought, "Impossible! How could this happen? How could they be so naive??!"

It's a good thing we don't let this happen.

Especially not with spiritual warfare. We face that head on, and deal with it, daily.

Or do we?

Free Copies of Love and War

Let's change the world.

I mean it. Let's change the world.

This thing we do over here called Ransomed Heart has basically one mission: rescue hearts, and thus rescue lives, and thus bring the Kingdom of God, and thus change the world. Okay, maybe thats four things, but its really all one.

And the way it happens is one life to another. We don't have a big TV show or huge ministry platform or whatever. This beautiful movement happens by word of mouth. Here's where you come in.

We wrote this wonderful book called Love and War, and the folks who are reading it are loving it. But very few people know about the book for some weird reason. We need help to get the word out.

So, we're going to give a free copy of Love and War to our friends like you who blog, asking that you blog about the book. That way, we spread the word in the best way possible, by one heart to another. By word of mouth.

If you have a blog, and you'd be willing to write about Love and War, we'd love to send you a copy. If you already have a copy, but want to blog about it, we'll send you another copy anyways, and you can pass it along to a friend. All you need to do is click here: https://www.ransomedheart.com/blogsignup.aspx

We'd also love it if you'd write a review on Amazon as part of this effort to get the word out http://snipurl.com/lwamazon

By spreading the word, you rescue hearts, lives, marriages...you change the world. How cool is that?

The Everlasting Stream

A few years ago Morgan gave the guys on the team a book called The Everlasting Stream. It sounds like a devotional, but its not, not even a Christian book. Its a book about a big city guy whose life is utterly transformed by spending time with his rural father-in-law, hunting rabbits in Kentucky with the men he has been hanging out with for more than fifty years. Its become an in-house favorite here because its description of masculine culture is so good, and so dang funny.

Anyhow, last weekend I dropped into a version of the everlasting stream.

I was out in Grand Junction, picking up an old Volkswagen Thing that Luke and I are going to fix up as his first car. I found the Thing on Craig's list, and was looking forward to meeting the guy selling it. He turned out to be about 70 years old, living on the rural side of town, his 5 acres covered in old tractors and stuff. As we sat inside his small farmhouse, drinking day old coffee, I found myself really enjoying this old man. Soon his two buddies showed up, and I got the idea that this is what they do every Saturday morning. Picture guys in their 70's, sitting around chain smoking Pall Malls in a single-wide. Dean is the character selling the car. Billy is his cousin. Kirby is a bit younger; I get the impression he's sort of looking after these old guys. Its right out of Second Hand Lions.

Billy (to me) "You ain't drinkin his coffee are you? That's yesterday's coffee!"

I look at Dean, and he sort of smiles and shrugs, "Yep...it is."

This stuff is inky black and strong; it would strip grease off an engine. He has a massive urn of it. I get the impression its what they drink all day long.

"So Dean," I ask, "what do you do with all these parts?" 

"O, I sorta fix tractors up and sell 'em."

I already love this man. 70 something and his hobby is fixing tractors and selling them?! I also feel like a weenie. I hope they don't ask me what I do for a living. "O...I help people connect with their inner child."

Billy "Hey, I brought you some donuts." He puts a greasy brown lunch bag on the counter. I sense this is all ritual; it has happened just this way for years.

Dean "Don't look like you brought many."

Billy "There's a half a dozen in there."

Dean looks at the small lunchsack "Must be mighty small donuts."

Billy "Their CAKE donuts, you twit."

On and on it goes. I thought I'd just grab the car and blast the 5 hour drive home, but I am enjoying these old characters so much I have to linger. Billy still uses Dippity Do in his grey hair; it is swept back in a nice wave. He too is chain smoking Pall Malls. But he is also using an asthma inhaler. So, once in awhile he'll take a shot of the inhaler, put it back in his pocket, and take a deep draw on his cigarette. This whole scene is out of a movie.

Kirby "You know why he has me come over, don't ya?" Looking at Dean, he continues, "cause he don't read or write. I gotta help him know where to sign the title and count the money."

I have never to my knowledge met anyone who doesnt read or write. Dean just sort of shrugs his shoulders. 

Billy "Hey, I brought you some hydraulic fluid." I'm thinking, when is the last time I heard somebody say, "I brought you some hydraulic fluid " in a conversation, like you'd say, "Hey, I brought you a Starbucks." I am loving this. Then Kirby gets upset

"What?!! I brought you some hydraulic fluid! What are you doin with all this fluid?"

Dean sorta shrugs his shoulders again and sheepishly says, "My tractors leak a bit."

I'm crackin up. This is the culture I spent summers in as a boy, sitting around old farm house kitchens with grey haired men from another time, another world. A world that is very attractive. They are sort of awkward in their affection for one another. But then we step outside and need to get the car out of the old barn and hook it up to a tow bar on my truck and suddenly these men are spry and nimble; they handle tools with grace and ease. They jerry-rig the whole thing so fast I just stand back and enjoy.

It is a beautiful world of men that more of us could use in our own lives.