Oy Vey!

I can’t eat anything delicious.  My period is coming.  And I’m trying to relate to my sixteen year old son.  It is not going well.

Sometimes I feel that he looks at me like I am a strange (not exotic, just strange) fish swimming inside of a tank.  What?!?  Huh? 

 

I don’t like it.  I want to snap at him for looking at me weird, dismissing me, not responding to me with awed respect.  I want to go into the pantry and eat some forbidden food by the handful.  Bury my face in a pan of brownies.  That’ll show him. 

 

Instead, as those godless roads are closed to me, I escape to my bedroom and give myself a time out.  Big breath.  What is true?  Who is the grown up here?  How do I love from this out of sorts place?  Jesus, please come. Help me rise above my hormones and sugar addiction and self centeredness.  Fill me Holy Spirit.  I breathe you in.  I let go of my own agenda and complusions.  Thank you.  

 

I’m still hungry but choose to reengage. 

 

“Ping pong?”, I offer.  He says no thanks.  I am still a fish.  

 

“I turn my eyes up to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth.”  I love you, Jesus.  I know this is about me, not my son.  You are the only One who can fill this hungry heart.

 

Comments

[abbey]

Stasi...you always have me 1. laughing and wanting to fall out of my chair, then 2. quickly realizing how much I love your vulnerability, then 3. wanting to be like you.

I love what you wrote. Eventhough I don't have children yet, I can so insert myself into your "Oy Vey" moment, with a different scenario, and see where I too so deeply need my God.

Thank you. Thank you for sharing this so openly.

[Jill Dyer]

So...tonight, we get home from a rather long day. 6 hours in the car with small children and one pregnant me. It's been a good day all in all...however, a bit emotion filled for many reasons (saying goodbye to Grandma in hospice, watching my dad deal with his mom dying etc). My daughter, sleep deprived and dramamine induced, begins bawling her eyes out for reasons unexplainable to any of us. Within seconds, I turn to the ghost shaped shortbread cookies on the counter and stuff a few in before I attempt to process my daughters diatribe. Luckily, I didn't blow it with her tonight (unusual) but as I clicked here tonight, I was reminded how easy I go to small indulgences to be my comfort instead of Jesus. Thanks, Stasi. Keep writing. Your thoughts are beautiful and need to be heard.

[Mike Dyer]

I can vouch for her story...women....or...little girls. Lord help me!

[Caroline Sory]

Thank you Stasi for blogging. You have something so precious and powerful that God has gifted you with and that we want and need to hear. Thank you!

[Karen]

Stasi, I am so glad they're publishing your blog on .net! Finally, the voice of a woman! No offense, John and Craig.

Oh, sister, can we talk??? :D

[Staci Cobb]

Oh, Stasi! I needed this today. What a blessing to have a Stasi blog!

Love
Your sister
The other Staci ;-)
(He calls me Sunshine. -Cap. 9/06)

[Stasi]

Re: [Stasi Eldredge] Staci Cobb submitted a comment to Oy Vey!.

Thank you Sunshine!!! And thank you to everyone else, too for your encouraging and supportive words. I’m new at this – as you know, and your kindness’ to me have been wonderful!

[Braylon]

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