Peace with Hormones

Maybe hormones aren’t as bad as I think they are.  Maybe they are my friend.  I would like to declare a truce, better still, I’d like to make nice.  To that end…a little note of appreciation to estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone.  The likes of which make me crazy.  Sometimes.  But maybe I  need to be thankful.  No, really.

 

Men, you can read this if you want but this baby is for women.  Yay women.  Go women! 

 

I have been getting my period for over forty years now.  WHAT?!?  Forty years.  Geez am I old.  Anyway, I have been getting my period since I was eleven years old.  So then why am I so surprised when it comes?  I have a killer headache for a day or two before the onset of my period.  Certain places are tender.  I want red meat.  Preferably with cheese.  Chocolate in large quantities would be good too.  I have feelings…emotions…and then woa!  OH!  Well, that explains a lot.  Who knew?  Well, for one, my husband knew…

 

When I am near or around, say close to menstruating, the world in general and my world in particular is a dark place.  I have no friends, no joy and no hope.  These symptoms I have come to recognize at least as passing.  I make no huge decisions during these hours.  It would be best if I did not come over to your house to your prayer meeting, sales meeting, party, whatever during these hours.  I have learned this.  But there also is some truth that surfaces in my heart when my hormones are raging.

 

All of my feelings are not false.  They are intensified. (This is the making nice, appreciating, hormones-aren’t-so-horrible part.)    The injustices of the world beg attention, my attention.  I am moved to act.  This is when I write the editor or my Compassion child.  Writing the oh so belated thank you notes happens now, too. 

 

The hurt I feel at being judged and misunderstood by others goes beyond irritation to sorrow.  A sorrow that I know I share with every other human being.  A sorrow that incites me to pray for others.  During this time of the month, the desire I feel inside as a woman for relational intimacy rises and will not be quenched by anything other than relational intimacy. Not red meat.  Not chocolate.  Not even movie theater popcorn. And this is difficult remember because in these moments I have no friends, no joy, and no hope.  

 

During my cycle, I begin to wonder if I am always so self absorbed.   Or is it merely my awareness that increases?  My hormonal awareness of myself and others.  (But mostly of myself…shoot.)

 

It can become a time of grace.  Really!  It can!  Extending it, offering it and receiving it.

 

I turn to Jesus.  And where did he go by the way?  How far must I cry out for him to hear me?  The faithful friend, the companion, the one who is closer than any other sometimes feels so dang far away.  And then, hoorah, faith kicks in.  Jesus didn’t go anywhere.  Whether my estrogen level is off the charts or dipping below the equator, Jesus is right here!!!   And HE GETS ME.  Perfectly!  All the time!  He understands.  Oh thank God.

 

And he aches too.  For me and with me.  He feels deeply all the time.  ALL THE TIME!  Oh, to be that alive!  I’m not sure I could take it.

 

But I am growing in taking it.   I am alive.  With all the emotional roller coaster experiences and deepening faith that that entails.  And perhaps I am never more keenly alive than when my hormones are raging.  So thank you gang.  Really.  Truce.

 

Today, right now, I look to Jesus.  I ache for him.  And I eagerly cry out for his return.  Come Lord Jesus!  And menopause coming maybe wouldn’t be so bad either.

 

Told you this was for women. 

Comments

[Caroline Sory]

Thank you Stasi! I get almost the same exact way and truly appreciate the encouragement to never forget that I am not alone. That Jesus is right here with me going through it all. Your post helped me to understand what I was going through this past weekend. I always think of James Dobson's "Emotions, Can You Trust Them?" when I get all down and self centered. Next month, I aim to make the best of the emotions instead of allowing them to take the best from me!

Psalm 89:15 says Blessed are those who learn to acclaim you; who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord.

I was at Captivating in August 2009 and hope I get to go this winter again!

xoxo Caroline Sory

[Mary Caldwell]

Stasi

Thank you for being so open and honest....
I am going through finding out how to get this hormonal
anxiety under control, I just started birth control at my age. (40) Doc says its PMDD. I have been crying out to Jesus and today is one of the hardest days... I open facebook and WOW here you are honestly open about hormones....Jesus is soooo good to us!!!!

[Chris]

I was thinking how great it would be if men did read this...perhaps better someone else would say it rather than their own wife? But then maybe not--it is such a tricky subject. Anyway, so wonderfully said, Stasi. Thank you. You've put into words so much of the same things I've felt and come to learn about my cycles...things I've often felt I better keep to myself even among women...things that also took me nearly 40 years to learn!

[Michelle]

Ha ha.... YAY, Stasi! Thank you for posting this. I may print this one out, and post it on my mirror, to remind me of the GOODNESS of "that time of the month"! :)

[Rielynn]

Love it, love your heart, love your honesty. It is a good reminder to bless our own bodies and not curse them. Embrace what is happening in the midst of cravings, headaches and mood swings. Oh Jesus thank you for loving all of us always! It is quite the challenge to process anything spiritual through a blanket of hormones - thank God for grace and mercy!

[Sallie]

Bless you, dear one, for taking us beyond the mindless rhythm of life. Thank you for taking us into the awareness, the depth, the ache and glory of, as you wrote: Jesus aching, feeling deeply, ALL the time.
And you who are made in the image of our God, you ARE that alive. And we are blessed because of you! Thank you.
Sallie

[Lorrie mdurbin]

Staci...thank you for speaking this for us all! I wish I could say menopause makes things better...not for me. I am 47 and going through menopause now since having a historestomy 5 years ago. I still have all these emotional wild body issues...but just no period...sometimes I wish for the period so I get some kind of release.
Lorrie

[Stasi]

See the good thing is that by saying that this post if for women - makes men curious!!! And you bet they read it!  Hah!  Welcome gentlemen!!!

[Stasi]

Dang.  And bless you!  Bless all of you ladies.  I LOVE women!!!!

[Lisa Bryant]

I am awed to hear another woman say what I have always said; the thoughts and feelings I always had during "that time of the month" were not false...they were always there, just intensified every 28 days or so. You have hit the proverbial nail on the head and I thank you. Having said all of that let me speak as one who has now passed through that invisible arch with the big 'M' over it. I have been post menopausal for two years now. And in a way feel like I've arrived....finally. The wisdom I always prayed for seems to have fallen upon my shoulders like a mantle passed on. I am calmer, more insightful, less likely to shoot off my mouth, more impassioned, more in tune to what God is saying to me, more likely to let the 'little things' go. I love more deeply, speak it more freely, give it more extravagantly. I have found new ground it seems and encourage all women to embrace this time in her life. Hold on tight when those hormones take you for your monthly ride but look forward to where they will eventually take you.

[Christine Mason]

I am 61 and went through menopause about 7 years ago. Within the first 3 years of menopause I had 2 ovulations/menstrual cycles a year or so apart. My doctor said it was normal for 'some' women. There was no mistaking the familiar symptoms of tenderness, moodiness, cramps, etc. Call me crazy but it felt good to have those feelings again. Could it have been the familiarity?

[Stasi]

Praise God!  Thank you for the encouragement!

[Stasi]

We are nothing if not mystery!  :-)

[jill]

i love this. thank you. my best friend and i are always trying to weed through things...is this warfare, fallen life, Jesus trying to get to something in us or HORMONES? thanks for drawing the light out. i like that everything is felt MORE INTENSELY. well, i don't like it but i feel it is right. :-) in the moment of hormones etc it always feels OVERBLOWN...like maybe there is no truth. these words i will come back to. i love your comment about "to be so alive"- me too, me too with a big hopeful sigh. my heart loves your heart stasi.

[Deborah]

ya know.... I went through menopause early, probably precipitated by the stress of many recent VERY tumultuous events and circumstances in my life. The thing is.... I had never dealt with huge hormonal issues with my cycles. I NEVER really understood how a lot of women became at that time.... NOW.....all of a sudden with menopause, I WAS all of those women intensified. And because I was in tears and dealing with so much anyway, I didnt know what was my normal emotions, what was hormones, what was because my reserves were simply tapped out???

All of this to say that it was really helpful to realize that there WERE reasons for a good part of how I was feeling....and WHY I sometimes felt like I couldnt cope with ANYTHING. I found some relief in using a natural vit E progesterone oil but especially it helped just to understand. And to be understood.

We need to do that as women.....and thanks stasi for stepping out to let other women know that you feel as they do....that we, as women, are NOT the only ones who experience all of these things so intensely.

One of those most amazing things about RH is that it is REAL, isnt it??

[Trish]

God created hormones, and sin complicates them- like everything on earth, both wildy exciting pleasurable and confusing at the same time. Sometimes there is a fine line between pleasure and pain.It is very difficult to pull apart what is what but its all in His Hand, and He is there to help us all through intensity of being a human being on planet Earth after the fall.
Praise God for redemption, and like you said, Staci, His generous , never ending Grace that is always availble no matter what the storm. As much of a challange managing them can be- oh, I am so grateful for them! How dull life would be without them.
Thanks for writing and sharing!

[Terri]

Thank you for this. This week I've lost a sweet baby to miscarriage and my hormones are all over the place. Thank you for such a gentle reminder that while my feelings may be intensfied by the hormones, they are still very real and Jesus understands. I needed that this morning more than words can say. Your words blessed me so.

[jill]

oh terri. i'm not stasi but i just felt for you. miscarriage is that loss that no one can quite understand nor really give words to your sorrow. may Jesus call you his beloved today and be so near you in your pain and loss that you feel understood.

[Tiffany Nevil]

Thank you for these words today Stasi! I needed them so much.

[Joy]

Staci, just another thing we love about you...your honesty and transparency!

I just wanted to share with you, and any others who experience menstrual headaches, or migraines. Long story short, I've found that Magnesium taken daily has GREATLY helped my monthly migraines. I take Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc (1000mg) daily and have very few monthly migraines now, whereas they used to knock me down for 2 days.

Also, I agree with some of the other readers, I think it's good for the men to hear this from women other than their wives.

Thanks again Staci for your honesty and transparency!
Blessings!

[Stasi]

Thanks, Joy!  I am going to get some!

[Sueroy16]

Good to hear my wanting intimacy is hormonal...being a single woman can be somewhat unbearable at times. So this too will pass just have to ride the wave until it passes and hopefully don't get swallowed up in it.

[Tammy]

Stasi, I need to know that there is hope to use these over-the-top hormones for good. They have taken me so far down the road of despair and destruction for so long. I am reeling from a day gone wrong helped along by hormones gone wild. Pray that I will find a way to call a truce as you have with your hormones. I am tired of fighting against them.

[Sheri Wall]

Yay! I am not alone. I do want my husband to read this as I have been trying to help him understand this for years. I do also believe that at this time of the month, warfare is intensified. As explained in "Captivating", since Satan has a special jealousy of woman's bodies being able to assist in the creation of life, this causes him to "attack" our cycles, so to speak.

[Hannah]

Bless you,Stasi, for blogging on this subject. I believe it is FAR under-addressed,especially by communities of believers! Every month, I feel that I've returned to square one; I wonder where the light went,the growth,the joy from life. But at the same time, in the way you describe, emotions are intensified to the point of being impossible to ignore. Yes, dropping change onto the floor at the grocery store takes me to the brink of tears, but then also sudden heart-stopping astonishment and praise at the most beautiful tree-lined street against the sunset, deep unspeakable joy juxtaposed against heart-crushing anguish. There is special vulnerability to spiritual attack,no kidding. And physical misery,NO JOKE. And yet,there is that sliver of sweetness! We ARE women! We ARE endowed with the ability to give and nourish life. And thank our dear Lord for ibuprofen. And Cheezits. :D