Dependent

Addicted to doesn’t mean the same thing as dependent upon.  But it’s close, isn’t it?  If I’m addicted to alcohol, my body will crave it, my mind will demand it, my cells will cry out for it.  I need  a drink in order to cope, to feel better or to feel nothing at all.  Or, at least, I think I need a drink.  I believe I need a drink.  I turn to alcohol to help me, to save me.  I depend upon it to do what it has done in the past…offer a momentary sense of relief.

 

Or maybe it’s not like that at all.  Maybe, if I’m addicted to alcohol, I am in a cell and it is my jailer. I need air, I need food, I need water,… I need to survive but in order to do that I must get my jailer’s permission.  Alcohol holds the key that must be unlocked if I am to live.  I am its slave, its prisoner.  I have no choice.  I am captive.

 

Or maybe that doesn’t even come close to describing the bondage.  When a person is addicted to something, they truly feel helpless to be free from it.  Powerless.  Unable.  Somewhere, the friendly face became a tormenter.  Enjoying something became needing something.  Needing something became shackled to something.

 

Pornography.  Food.  Drugs.  Alcohol.  Sex.  Gambling.  Spending.  Escaping.  You name it.

 

My friend had been sober for seven years before the pain in her sons life overwhelmed her to the point that she returned to an old “lover” for comfort.  At a wedding reception with her, I noticed the wine glass by her plate.  “Are you drinking?”, I asked.  “Yes!”, she answered with defensive strength, “it’s helping.”  It’s helping.  Alcohol or any other addiction may not be the answer but it is an answer.  When the pain becomes too much, it can feel so much saner to run from it.  But when we run from our pain, we run from our healing.

 

After another eight months gripped by the familiar hell of alcoholism, my friend has been sober now for two weeks.  And two weeks is a miracle.  Heck, one day is a miracle.  She is receiving the grace to stop running.

 

I need grace as much as I need air.  No, probably more.  I cry out for grace.  I am utterly dependent upon God’s grace.  And he promises that his grace is and forever will be sufficient for us. 

 

Though we can be utterly dependent upon God, we can’t be addicted to God.  God refuses to be put in a box.  He will not respond, show up, or come through for us in the way we want every time simply because he is too brilliant for that.  He outsmarts us.  He is a PERSON who wants to be known, loved and worshiped.  Not controlled.  Not addicted to.  But pursued.  Depended upon.  And proven stronger than our addictions time and time and time again.  One miracle following another, day in, day out. Healing upon healing.  Grace upon grace.  Glory to glory.

Comments

[Sallie]

"When we run from our pain, we run from our healing" --- may we have the courage to know that and help one another know that. I love that you are a friend who will ask your friend, who will press in even when it's not comfortable, for the sake of hope and freedom and LIFE. That is the definition of friend that our Jesus has for us!

[Tara]

Beautiful, Stasi, and so true. I love that our God won't be put in a box. And thank you for the reminder that "when we run from our pain, we run for our healing." It is so tempting to numb, run, avoid or choose an alternate lover.

Wise, glorious words.

[Wayne Shaw]

Absolutely........Love this!! And so what I needed to hear, this week, today, even this very hour.

It is true, we can be addicted to anything. Except God. I needed to hear that, too. I have heard it said many times, based on some translations of the Bible, that it is acceptable to be so addicted, as in, addicted to ministry.

Now I KNOW that's wrong. I'm not disputing the use of that word, in the right context, but when we become a slave to anything, there's a problem that must be confronted.

Without getting into specifics, I can confess to my share of addictions, both past and present. Some have "looked" godly, others definitely have not. And you are so right: after a relapse, two weeks (or some other time frame, depending on the addiction and the relapse)is a miracle. I am sure after reading your latest blog, many more of us will be encouraged to keep each other lifted up in prayer for the healing touch and grace of God on our addictions, and their devastating effects.

And let me stop there, before my "addiction" to fine phrases flares up again--God bless you, yours, and all who read this!

[alexandra george]

hi!! you have helped me time and again with your words and God has spoken to me through your books and your husband's. I really needed this message, and I have a question if you ever have the time to answer it.
how can I depend on God if He wants to be pursued? I mean, my pills or whatever are there every time I need them, which is so much easier. Sometimes I just don't have the time, or the "luxury" of waiting for Him to take away my pain.
And then it just feels like He's ignoring me, or like I'm not important enough for Him to answer at the exact moment that I need Him. Afterwards, it is just too late. I have turned elsewhere.

thank you in advance for answering.
God bless you abundantly

[Lisa D.]

This is a heart-stirring blog Stasi. Your description of addiction is compassionate and true - thank you. Your statement that we cannot be addicted to God because he is not ours to command is also powerfully true. We are addicted, in part, because we get to control the what, when and how of how we choose to ease our pain. God will never let us control him, even when what we desire from him is consistent with what we know to be true about him - which is that he longs to be gracious to us and deliver us from our sorrows.

But I resonate with Alexandra's post, and the pain that underlies it. When we are hurting, we would like God to show up, at just the right moment, and rescue us. We NEED him to show up for us like this. And when he doesn't come through, at least not on the timeline that I need, I have often felt abandoned too. But over this long journey I have also learned that he is there in the waiting, even when it feels like I can't take it another moment. He is still there. I have learned to rest in this, in the waiting. It has been one of the hardest lessons to learn.

[ooma review]

Alcohol or any other addiction may not be the answer but it is an answer.only for weak ppl

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people who serve GOD are not addicted, they serve HIM cuz they love HIM and it is HIS right to be served and loved as HE is the King of kings. :)

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Needing something became shackled to something.

[desertdeer]

Alcohol or any other addiction may not be the answer but it is an answer.only for weak ppl

Posted by: ooma review | 03/15/2011 at 12:49 PM

WOW!!! I have never been called weak by anyone in my life and I surely won't take the label from a stranger who knows nothing about me.

Attacking and stereotyping may not be a Christlike strength...but it is sadly an option....for weakened(?)people. Or perhaps thats harsh. Perhaps those people are simply just as deceived and disillusioned by sin in this world....as the addict.

[Margie]

I'm on day two of quitting smoking after almost 30 years. It's interesting that I came across this discussion because I was just thinking (as I'm fighting the craving) that I feel like I've been a slave to smoking for such a long time. I started as a teenager and didn't believe the words of warning about it. I think we are fooled by Satan when he says to look around....no one around you is dying from smoking...RELAX...HAVE FUN...it's you're own life...if you want to quit you can always put them down. Such a LIE! I don't think that makes me weaker than someone who gives in to gossip or any other type of destructive behavior. They are all ways the enemy uses to trip us up, but I have news for him.....I'm winning this war!!

[Stasi]

Yay you!  And yay Jesus!

[Sandy]

Thank you for your blog Stasi! I love that you pointed out that you (and myself too, by the way) need grace just as much as an addict or anyone else. We are all works in progress, none of us perfect. We all struggle, but praise God that there is HOPE in Him! You are so right, God is not some thing that we can be addicted to; He is not a genie in a bottle that grants us our every wish, but our creator, Savior, the lover of our soul who actually longs to be with us, who desires that daily relationship with us and to see us grow in Him. Thank you for your years of service and honesty in bringing people closer to Jesus! He is so pleased with you, His beautiful daughter!

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Well you can never have enough of God. You are right about that.

[Michael Borr]

Wow, very nice post! Welcome here phdworks.org!

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Thanks for bright explanation of the difference between addicted to and dependent upon!

[keylogger Mac]

Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright....lol.

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I like the idea that being in tune with my animal is a valid way of being. It is a place of wisdom that can help me make the decisions that my head can sometimes become confused over.

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I can confess to my share of addictions, both past and present.

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God has spoken to me through your books and his Prophets and messengers.

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I like the idea that being in tune with my animal is a valid way of being. It is a place of wisdom that can help me make the decisions that my head can sometimes become confused over.
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New Wilderness Adventures is a growing ministry committed to a God sized mission. They are adventurers, guides, and followers of Christ in a shared mission. They are not men's ministry programmers or fillers for Sunday morning brotherhood breakfast; however, they welcome every opportunity to share God's message of freedom and life.

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