Change of Heart from Love & War

I wrote to you guys a few weeks back about my sister Sarah and her husband Mohammed. They attended your 'Love and War' event in Austin. Just wanted to give you an update.....but first let me say THANK YOU for praying for them! The enemy tried hard to deter Mohammed from going, but the Lord won out! My sister told me it was awesome (of course!) and that although Mohammed didn't say much about it, she knows he was touched by the things you said. At one point she looked over at him and could see a tear rolling down his cheek. Praise God that His Spirit melts us, and praise God for your ministry! If you recall, Mohammed had asked Sarah for a divorce just a few days before your event. Since then, he has not mentioned it again and he has become more attentive to their children. The Lord has put it on my sister's heart to go back to the basics of friendship with her husband and has given her a renewed hope. I expect miraculous things to unfold!

You are each doing great things for the Kingdom and I just had to say thank you once again. May God's boundless love continue to flow through your ministry and into the hearts of the thirsty and broken. You need to know you are making a difference!

Blessings to each of you,

Megan

 

Encountering God on the skirts of a Legendary Volcano

For 4 days, a company of leaders and friends from Guadalajara and Mexico City escaped from the urban chaos, work, and responsibilities to encounter God together on the skirts of central Mexico's legendary volcanos.  We hiked, fished, laughed, ate, ran, and sat around the fire together.  As you know, we gathered together around Christ through the 9 Boot Camp conversations.   We talked about the continued discoveries of our place in the the giant story, God's epic and it's course in central Mexico. One dear friend and leader said, “I carry with me the vision of building strong bands of brothers throughout the kingdom who know what it is to search for God and life together.  I feel full of hope, and will give my life to something like this.” 

     
We shared prayer together concerning the adventure and risk taking associated directly with our deepest desires to make Mexico something new, vibrant, and more centered in Christ.   One friend left the experience saying, “I will take the next steps in my life by courageously taking steps of action.  I will do so by writing down 12 things that I will do in response to God’s leading.   I will check off each action when it is completed so that we will know that I am following up on this...if I am walking in the direction of my God given dreams or not.”  This same brother talked about building a micro-finance organization to help the poor; he also said it was time to propose to his girlfriend, and spoke about his hunger to be a better son and friend.

 

We reminded one another of the noble commission given to us as fathers and husbands and boyfriends (there were 4 young unmarried men who joined us).  We made commitments about the kind of servants and men we want to be for those closest to us.  One father said, “I am going home and will spend more time with my son.”  Another father said, “I will be a more authentically present husband and father to my wife and daughter.  I will become a listener and be deeply attentive to them.  I will ask them frequently, ¿Cómo estás?”  Another family man said, “I will now put great emphasis on my relationship with my wife and children.  We will discover God together...I will be a better listener.”  

 

We experienced walking with God and walking with God together.  We formed a stronger band of brothers for the struggles ahead.  As one friend concluded, “I feel internal strength now, and know that I will live to grow in my spiritual life.  My self-worth, identity, security, and sufficiency will be found in the hands of God from now on.” Another one said, “I can see with greater clarity that this group of men is truly on the front lines of the kingdom of Christ in Mexico.” 

 

-James

Karel, South Africa

We had our first school W@H camp at the end of last month where we took 15 of the problem students from [a high school] in Pretoria (age 17-18) on a three day bush experience… these are bad @ss guys… 4 of them have got charges of assault against them and are awaiting trial, one was involved in Satanism and most come from broken homes… They all gave their hearts to God on this camp. 13 of the 15 have volunteered to facilitate the next camp… they are giving witness in the school one at a time… they have started a band of brothers at school… they are standing up in class speaking up against disrespect towards female teachers! Their parents are approaching us for tools and guidance… they are requesting farther son camps to heal their wounds… the teachers have experienced the hand of God in their school and there is a renewed devotion to the lord among them…

The repercussions of this have been so immense that it is impossible to measure…
We stand in awe of what God is doing in our city… and country… -

Carol

(A response to a Captivating Retreat held up in The Rockies)

What can I say? A Christian since I was 20 years old – serving, working, trudging, bearing up under the “Saintly” longsuffering of “a woman of God”, duty, obligation, tiredness, loss. If Christ came to fill us with joy, why was I so worn out and joyless? What was I missing in this? Was heaven my only hope in this life?

With that question to God ten months ago He began to lead me on a quest. A quest for the truth, I thought. But it has been a quest for so much more. The beautiful culmination (of at least this part of my story) has been that I have seen my God here in this place striding on the mountain tops, His song to me in the wind. A hidden meadow with the warmth of the sun, the rustling of the aspens, untrodden paths with an invitation from my Lover to walk off the easy path to encounter His beauty, His presence, His Whispers of longing to me. To be fearless where there has been fear… because I am not alone for My God is with me always…

It has been a long time since I felt warmth this deep in my heart. I have been breathed on by the one who gives me life. He is my All. He is my delight.

Thank you thank you than you.

Peter

I wept as I read, .

"So, put down the book for just a moment, and let this sink in: Jesus can, and wants to, heal you heart."- Waking the Dead - page 136:

 

I put the book down and let it sink in.

 

I closed my eyes (the voice came)- "Jesus can, and wants to, heal my heart."

 

I keep repeating it - "Jesus can, and wants to, heal my heart.  Jesus can... Jesus can heal my heart... He wants to heal my heart..." I keep saying the words over and over... my heart cries "Abba" The laces are undone, the latches unlocked, shields down.

 

I weep.

 

The failures and shortcomings. The lust. The moment of sexual innocence lost and the endless cycle of pain and despair; the flood of haunting memories that curse my dreams. The well-placed arrows and piercing daggers; the years of masturbation and images of women that I had scourged over. The women I had used, but deeper still, the ones that had used me.  I weep... because scoop by scoop, piece by piece, hole by hole... He is removing the guilt and extracting the pain. I want to stop (I am weeping And  my neighbors will likely soon be at my door) but I can't - I can't let go. I’m not going to stop short of... ... silence. The tears stop. The voice returns.

“It is good, it is good. It is very good” (His words only after creating Man in His image).

 

I made it through parts of Wild at Heart years ago, but the weight of sin and shame left me a casualty of war, lying wounded on the battlefield. I never believed my heart could still be good... not after years of my sinful hypocrisy and the forced outward smile. Now, here I am... God was always moving and still speaking, but now... "they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them." (Matthew 13:15)

I look forward to the rest of my journey with my Savior.. I am. a man fully

alive. - Peter

Tobin

After eight years of feeling like there was a veil between me and my Father in heaven, yesterday morning it was lifted, and it was incredible.  I have been reading “Walking with God” for three weeks now and started using the personal study guide.  For the first time, I prayed what the Lord revealed was opposing my walk with Him, what was making it hard for me to hear his voice.  False accusation, distraction, diminishment and spiritual blindness (Fog of War). I prayed it once, then, at His prompting, once more.  Then I paused.  I heard Him say "family" so I prayed for the binding of those things from my wife and daughter as well.  Waited.  I asked Him to show what I need to do to be a better father and husband.  Of my daughter He said, "Be with her.  Accept her.  Don't ignore her."  Of my wife: "Don't accuse, accept her. . ."  All these things mean something very specific to me personally.  Then out of what seemed like nowhere, Christ showed up.  I felt his spirit well up in me and immediately the enemy jumped in to diminish it.  "That's not Him."  But a voice interjected, "No, it's me."  "No, it’s the Holy Spirit," I agreed. I began to weep and laugh and feel his love.  From the center of my being to the tips of my fingers.  I have only felt that once, eight years ago at the beginning of my personal battle and always assumed it was a fluke.  Someone's blessing wrongly given to me.  How could I be chosen in that way?  Now, when I least expected it, (and God's timing is incredible) He reveals He was there all along.  The Evil One had just been blocking me.  It was no mistake so stop striving.  It's as if now all the things I felt prompted by God to begin in my life but didn't over fear of being wrong, had all along been right.  I have the green light, the go ahead, permission.  I have His assurance that no matter what happens, He is in control, as He always has been.  That I am truly His.  What clarity.  What Love.  WHAT FREEDOM!!

Ron

On my birthday, I awoke and was attacked by the enemy.  I was feeling especially remorseful for past sin. As is my custom, I walked in to my bathroom and reached for my daily verse/devotional thought calendar and prayed as I flipped the page to the date of my birthday, “LORD–what do you have for me today?” It was 2 Samuel 12:13 where David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die." After I read it, I hear that still small voice say, “Happy birthday, Ron”. This was a definite gift from the Holy Spirit, a birthday present I will never forget and that will never grow old.

Ron

On my birthday, I awoke and was attacked by the enemy and was feeling especially remorseful for past sin. As is my custom, I walked in to my bathroom and reached for my daily verse/devotional thought calendar and prayed as I flipped the page to the date of my birthday, “LORD – what do you have for me today?” It was 2 Samuel 12:13 where David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die. After I read it, I hear that still small voice say, “Happy birthday, Ron”. This was a definite gift from the Holy Spirit, a birthday present I will never forget and that will never grow old.

 

Ray

Though I shouldn’t have been, but I was caught off guard.

For the last 7 years or so I have been reawakened to the Gospel through the ministry of Ransomed Heart.  That means that I understand, believe and war against the attack of the Enemy – “We live in a world at war” & “Every movement toward God will be opposed.”   For the last year, through a very long stretch of unemployment and financial difficulties (many of my own making), God has been transforming me, drawing me closer to His heart.  God is bringing my wife and I through a turbulent time that threatened our 20 year marriage and is transforming us both individually and as a couple. 

Our pastor is doing a series called “Thrive”.  Essentially, how to thrive during turbulent times.  This past Sunday he asked that I do a question/answer session with him in front of the congregation.  “Not too big of a deal”, just 10 minutes or so of some background and what it has looked like to walk with God through it all so far – it’s definitely NOT over.  There is so much I wanted to say but I focused on -  “I am dearly loved” (Rom 8:38-39), “We live in a world at war and every movement toward God will be opposed” (1 Pet 5:7-9), and the “Daily-ness of my walk” (Matt 6:33-34 & the Daily Prayer).  I prayed before the service and over the message that I would get out of the way and that God would say and do His will through our talk.  Everything went very well during the service but then I got hammered.

 It started out as a subtle feeling of “That didn’t go very well did it?” and over the course of the day it moved to what I can only describe as a haze or mist over my spirit.  Like I was in a fog spiritually and mentally.  Looking back, it was primarily Diminishment and Doubt – “That was a waste”, “It didn’t really help anyone”, “You have nothing valuable to give to anyone”, etc.  That opened the door to Frustration, Anxiety, Fear and Confusion – “You shouldn’t have done that”, “It just stirred the pot with Deb and got her upset”, “What are you really doing with your life”, “What a jerk you are”, etc.  All very subtle, slowly pinning my heart down.  All the while my heart was crying out “NOT TRUE!”, like a drowning man desperately struggling for his last breath before going under; and I, not fully recognizing what was going on, trying to hold on, in my own power, to what I knew was objective truth.

And yet I still I didn’t recognize the warfare … all day Sunday as it snuck up on me; little by little.  Sunday night I slept but it was fitful and I awoke tired and fully engulfed a couple hours early at 4am.  I didn’t want to go to work, really struggled getting ready, pushed myself into the car and then … it hit me … I was under attack.  I normally pray The Daily Prayer as I drive into work every morning, have been for 5 or 6 years.  As I turned my heart and my mind toward God, not even starting the prayer, just turning to him – clarity came.  I was under attack. 

And I prayed.  Prayed as I have only seldom done before with power and anger.  Yes, anger.  Not rage but anger that the Enemy and his agents were trying to take me out.  I brought the Name and Authority of Christ and the full work of Christ against Diminishment and Doubt first and then went against the “hangers-on”.  I was loud, REALLY loud, and by the time I got to work, less than 30 minutes later, I was free.

There is more to the story – the Enemy went after my wife and my pastor as well.  More battle to come I am sure and no more “Nice little life” … “Open war is upon me, whether I would risk it, or not”.

 

 

Audi

Insomnia has been plaguing me for the last year.  It’s all because of useless worry.  I’m a fixer.  It’s hard for me to let go. 

My dear mom had a stroke and every night I desperately prayed over and over again, “God, what do I do?  I’m a speech pathologist…should I work with her myself?  Find a different rehab program?  Hire someone to come into the home?  I’m listening, God!  Please tell me!”

I had prayed this over and over again, but rarely was quiet enough to hear an answer. 

Finally, I shut up.  And the answer was there.  “Rest.  Just rest.” 

That’s just like the God I know.  He rarely tells me what I’m expecting.  It’s always something different. 

Rest.  Just trust in Him.  It’s not up to me to fix things.  Just rest.  It’s 2 a.m. for heaven’s sake!

I rolled over and went to sleep…safe in His care and His promise that if I come to Him, he will give me rest.  And my mom.  And my family. 

Months later, I can see he’s been working.  He hasn’t “fixed” my mom like I envisioned, but he has given her peace and contentment.  And he gave our whole family a great gift this Christmas when my mom said, “I’m most thankful…that…I am alive and here.”

Rest.  Just rest.  And trust God.