We Are All In This Together

Nine weeks ago I stood before 21 married couples and welcomed them to the first session of Love & War, a nine-week marriage series based on John and Stasi Eldredge's latest book. I had led a regular small group of 10 couples through other marriage studies before, but this was totally different. I'm thankful that the material the Eldredge's provided was so well-written and thorough; all I had to do each week was introduce the material and facilitate my own small discussion group. When I first suggested to our small group that we leave our regular format and offer the Love & War study to the church, I guessed we might pick up three or four couples. I was blown away when 12 couples signed up. Clearly, there was an interest in the subject, but I believe the personal invitations we extended also contributed to the large turn out.

Each week we watched the DVD as John and Stasi recapped the week's reading from the book. Then, we would break up into smaller discussion groups to go through the questions in the participant's guide. By week two, regular groups had formed as people got to know each other. It was encouraging to see personal connections being made. Not every couple made it to every session, and there were a few couples who decided the experience was too much to handle. But, by the end of the nine weeks, couples were telling me that the series challenged them; they were having conversations they never thought possible. During some discussions there were some tears, a few arguments, but also a lot of laughs as each spouse realized the issues they were dealing with were not unique to just their marriage.

One of the great things about the Love & War study is that it is not simply a "how to" guide of 10 steps to a better marriage. It is not a collection of generalized marriage tips, but a journey "back to the garden." John and Stasi establish some firm principles right from the beginning, such as "marriage is hard, but you are not alone" and "God is intimately interested in your marriage because he put it together and it serves a purpose greater than you." The fact that both John and Stasi (as well as the other three couples in their own small group) were willing to share some of the deep things about their marriage which made the series feel more like "we are all in this together" and less like "we have all the answers so just shut up and listen."

I'm thankful that God placed Love & War at our disposal and that the response to the study has been overwhelmingly positive. One of the discussion groups became so close they are seriously considering forming a regular small group!  We provided a short survey to evaluate what folks thought of the series. About half the people had never been part of a marriage study but 91% of all the couples said they would recommend Love & War to a friend. My hope is that my wife and I can facilitate another round of Love & War in the near future.

Thank you John and Stasi!

- Justin

A Battle to Fight

 

Many years ago, in high school, as a birthday gift, my grandmother purchased Wild At Heart and presented it to me.  As a boy who'd grown up without a father, she hoped it would help to bridge the gap that my father had left in my life.  I read it voraciously several times, each time taking something new from it.  The book had changed my life, and I hung on to every word, not as a Bible, but as yet another tool to add to my collection of things that could help me become a more Godly man and a better person. And what a tool it was!  The book was so profound, it was my primary tool to change myself to become the person I wanted to be, and the person I am today (not quite who I want to be, but I'm still getting there).

Wild At Heart was in fact such a deep experience for me, that when I found my calling in life - music - I drew from the book for the band's name.  Mr. Eldredge had said that every man sought three things out of life: a beauty to rescue, an adventure to live, and a battle to fight.  I tossed those three things in my head for weeks, and finally came to agree with him whole-heartedly.  When it came time to name my band, I thought of the book that had done so much for me personally, and I thought about those three things that all men wanted.  I had decided beforehand that, in my personal experience and perception, the hardest of those three things to find in the modern world was the battle to fight, that one epic dragon to slay that would be your crowning accomplishment in life.  God has one for all of us, no doubt, but sometimes life can seem so mundane that we wonder if all the dragons have already been slain.

When it came time to name my band, I named it "A Battle To Fight."  I hoped that one day the band would become famous (the hope of many musicians), and that my lyrics would bring inspiration and courage to listeners everywhere, that I could connect with those people and they could find hope the same way that I find hope in music and lyrics that remind me that I am not alone in life.  I knew that if I ever did become famous, the band's name would certainly come into question.  Where had I derived it from?  I hoped, and to this day hope, that I can some day stand in front of a camera or microphone and tell the world the story I've just shared; the name is from a book, a powerful book, that gave me courage to change myself for the better, and that's something I want everyone to experience.

- Nicholas

A Shift in Our Relationship - Stories from Boot Camp

 

I felt a different time with God.  A shift in our relationship.  He showed me how he has been with me my entire life!

God brought memories and events back to my heart and showed me how He called out the true me, all through my life, in different stages.  And He said to me:

I pursued you when you ran.

And I came for you at your worst.

I love you my son.  Accept my love.

I will give you everything you need to live life strong, for Me.

Thank you, thank you Ransomed Heart for your work in the Kingdom.

- Bill

Wild Woman - Stories from Captivating

 

I've sat down many times to share about the overflowing blessings of God from the latest Captivating Event at Frontier Ranch.  However, words just aren't sufficient. They never are. On the flight to Denver, I told God about all of the things I hoped for and if I only got one of them, that would be enough for me. And I meant it with my whole heart. God, being who He is, not only did everything that I hoped for, He did more. Just because He can. Just because He loves me.

During our Covenant of Silence on Friday night, we were to spend time asking God two questions: What do you say about me? How do you feel towards me? This was something I had been desiring to hear so badly over the past couple of years. God has led me in unexpected directions and the repercussions of following Him have been more blessing than I have ever hoped to know coupled with more pain than I knew was possible. I needed to hear from God, especially in this area.

Throughout our time that night, the Lord spoke very healing and sweet words over my heart. However, I couldn't hear the name He uses for me. I held my white stone, rubbing it with my thumb. I could feel my name right there but I had no idea what it was. I would get a word or phrase but it didn't feel like my name. Sweet but my spirit didn't respond to it. Then it came:

Wild Woman

I knew this was it because two things happened immediately. 1. My heart leaped and a giggled slipped out of my lips. 2. I heard in the back of my head, "That's not me." Thankfully, I was able to recognize what just happened - it was the first thing my spirit responded to and it was the first thing that was attacked. I sat with it a moment asking God if He was sure. "You know me. I'm a 30 year old, single, first grade teacher that loves to sit in bookstores and drink hot tea. Wild Woman? I trust you but I don't see it." God told me He knows. He's sure. We weren't finished but He sent me to bed.

That night, this Texas girl woke up with very cold toes. I slipped on socks but was wide awake. God was ready to finish this. As I laid in my bed with just God to keep me company, this is what went down:
 
God:  What are you struggling with?
Me:    The "wild" part.
God:  What does wild mean to you?
Me:    Edgy.  Crazy.  Sporty.  Extreme.
God:  That's adventurous.  Not wild.
Me:    What does wild mean to You?
God:  Look around. These mountains that take your breath away. These aspens you are falling in love with. That stream you sat by earlier. The stars that you've been waiting to sit under. All of that is wild. That is my creation. It is strong and beautiful just as I made it. It is exactly where I want it. It is under my care. In my hands, it is perfect in every way. There is nothing that can make it better aside from Me. That is what wild means. Untouched by man. You, Dana, are my Wild Woman. Made by Me - In your beauty. In your strength. In My care. You are untamed, wild beauty.

I'm thankful God is an emotional God. I'm thankful He understands the need for tears. I'm thankful He allows us to process things in bits. I'm thankful He is sweet to continually reveal the layers of what He said that night. He has shown me more of what wild means to Him.

My white rock sits on my night stand. When I glance at it and see the words "Wild Woman" written on it, I smile and giggle. There is still a part of me that shakes my head at that. No one but God would call me wild. Maybe that's part of the reason He chose it. But when I sit with it, when I remember, it takes my breath away.

Healing My Wounds

Dear Stasi and John Eldredge,

I just want to say thank you for your book Captivating!

I'm a 24 years old catholic woman from Germany (I'm sorry for all the mistakes I'm making writing in English...) and I have read the German version of this book some months ago. Reading the book I said to myself: "Did they write this book just for me? But how do they know me?!" I was so impressed of how you told me about the deep wound of my heart which I didn't know before! All that I read in the book was so true! You wrote exactly about my wound!

My father never had much time for his children, and he never ever told me that I was beautiful. I cried a lot reading the book, it was a good, healing crying. I suddenly understood things in my life that I had not understood before.

And God is so good!!! He gave me not only your book but while I was reading it, he also gave me the friendship to a 20 years older man who has become a second father for me. During some months we were working together in a christian pro-life organisation and so we met nearly every day. His fatherly presence helped me a lot to heal my wound.

There was a moment when he didn't have much time for me. That was difficult for me because it reminded to my heart that my father never had much time for me. So now I felt once more the pain that I had since my childhood and for the first time, I could really cry about this pain my father had given to me. For the first time, I could grasp this pain. This was a very important moment for me.

So during some time I felt that God was healing my heart. But then I noticed that the evolution stagnated. And I also noticed why: I was still holding my wound. I was praying about it, but I had not yet given it completely to God. So I decided to do this step with the help of a priest: There was a eucharistic prayer evening where some priests gave a special blessing to those who asked for. So I went to a priest and asked for the complete healing of my heart. He prayed over me and in this moment I really gave my wound to God. Since this evening, I feel so free!!!

There is still one important detail in my story: I always knew that God loved me, that he cared for me, but for me God the Father was always very far, somewhere over the clouds - because I didn't knew a tenderly loving Daddy. Then God gave me my "second Daddy" who used to take me in his arms when he said me hello, to tell me that I was beautiful, and to listen to me attentively when I told him what was going on in me (while my biological Dad never even tries to understand me).  Then one day while I was sitting at home, praying, I suddenly felt something I had never felt before: I felt God the Father loving me tenderly, it felt like he took me in his arms, me, his beloved daughter! Great feeling! :)

I am so happy for all that God has done for me and without your book, it would have been much more difficult for me to let him heal my wound! So I say again THANK YOU for this book!!!

Now I am reading Wild at Heart and I'm discovering what's going on in a man. Very interesting! :)

Greetings from Germany,

Maria

Healing, Learning and Training - Stories from Boot Camp

 

It's a miracle that I came (to Boot Camp) this weekend, really.  On August 8, 2010 I was at the lowest of lows.  I confessed to my beautiful wife that I was headed down the road of an affair with another woman during the past summer.  God's kindness led to my repentance and He saved me from total destruction.  While I never followed through on it, I came close enough and have caused incredible damage to my marriage.

I was looking for validation in all the wrong areas.  I knew the warnings in Proverbs about the adulterous woman, but my choices revealed my need for a strength I didn't possess.  My daily life, though blessed with a beautiful wife and three amazing kids, became a relentless reminder that I didn't measure up.

Earlier that May I met with my Pastor and he spoke a prophetic word over me though we hadn't known each other for more than 10 minutes.  He said, "Josh, I feel like God is telling me that you need to be involved in ministry somehow, someway."  From that point on, Satan unleashed hell on me and the seductive words of another woman hooked me.  Over a period of three months the warfare was so great that I fell and chose to seek validation in another woman, to escape my life and to run for God.

My life was filled with shame, guilt and accusations before and during all of this.  One guy I confessed to, who I barely knew (and initially wanted to fight as he walked through my front door on the day I confessed) directed me towards this weekend and called you guys to get me in this.  He gave me the Four Streams CD's and since then a miraculous transformation has been occurring.  At a time when I, in the worlds eyes, should feel ashamed, condemned and disqualified, I feel just the opposite.  I feel confident, no condemnation and qualified to share God's forgiveness, grace, mercy and overwhelming love.  For the First time in my life I feel equipped as a son of God.  

I feel the ability to silence the enemies lies he would hurl at me.  For the first time since my earthly father suddenly died in my arms to a freak heart disorder, I feel and now see and hear my true heavenly Father speaking to me.  I feel God's calling on my life to be transformed, to lead other wounded men, and to be a man that fights for the sacred things in life.

While I know the days in front of me are going to be a time of healing, learning and training, I also know God has spoken to me that I will use this story one day.  Ransomed Heart Ministries hits so close to my core, it calls out my story and I am evidence of the tremendous power God is revealing through this ministry.

- Josh

Freedom

 

In September I completed facilitating a Wild at Heart Boot Camp (used the DVDs) at a Federal prison at Ft. Dix in New Jersey. I had 15 guys in the class, 12 of them were Christian, one guy is Jewish, one Native American (practices their spiritual beliefs) and one Asatru (also called Odonists – they believe in the Viking gods.)


I could write page after page about the experience, about what happened. Best to just leave it at – God showed up, guys got healed, love was shared, lives were changed. Of all of the guys who lives were changed, it may actually be mine that was changed the most. I highly recommend facilitating the program, the experience takes your understanding of the material, and potential application of the material to a whole new level.
 


When I asked the guys for feedback at the end of the program, the most significant response I got was – “This book seems like it was written just for us.” When you consider where they are, when you consider that they are not only prisoners physically but also prisoners spiritually and emotionally, and you realize the freedom and hope they got from the program, then you truly understand what that comment means. They were all very thankful to John for writing Wild at Heart and thankful for the Boot Camp program.

- Stan

Hope

 

Thank you doesn't say enough - but thank you - for revealing our true story, true heart, true place, for helping set me free from so many agreements.  For bringing me back through my former wound - for the hope we have for true, real profound healing and victory through Christ, through our Heavenly Father.

That reality is indescribable.  Your ministry is so truly unique - from the first day of reading Wild at Heart, through the Boot Camp retreat, you have spoken to the freeing and restoring of my heart.  Your ministry has struck me as "this must be true, I knew there was so much more" to life - just as first hearing and accepting the Gospel spoke to me in 1983.

You have eternal gratitude.  Oh that I can bring this message to my lost Christian brothers!

Thank you, again, because what price can I put on this Freedom?  What other words can I use?

My Heart is Coming Alive

 

I am reading Waking the Dead and wanted you to know that I am feeling my heart come alive...I am moved to my core (my heart) that there is hope for me.  You see my heart was broken, as a child, because my parents didn't have the courage to fight my adult sister who had issues involving sibling rivalry.  In her mind, my parents shouldn't have had me, and she made feeling a part of my family very hard.  I grew up wondering "what did they do with the kids that didn't belong".

Fortunate for me, I became pregnant in college and sought counseling as I gave up my child for adoption.  My parents were there for me, as they realized that my getting pregnant was a final cry for help.  And I later found the strength to confront my sister and tell her that "it was not my fault" that I felt left out and unloved.  It was her issues that led our family through all those difficult years.  I was loved all along! As was she, I asked her to get help for her problems and leave our family to grow and love each other.  She hasn't yet.

My birth-son Michael found me this past September on Facebook.  He was reaching out to find something that was missing in his life, and had always wanted to know me.  The subject line on his post said, "I don't want anything from you - I just want to thank you for my life".  What a beautiful thing to say!  He had been through a lot in his life lately, got hurt in the Navy Seals training program and lost his daughter's mother in a car accident.

I don't believe that it was an accident that we reconnected.  I think it's a blessing and a gift from God that we may have a second chance.  I have a lot to give him and he to me.  We both have suffered great loss and I think it's time to heal our hearts and take a journey together.  He has a good heart, and so do I!  I wanted you to know that your books, both Captivating and Waking the Dead have helped me see this.  May God Bless You and keep you doing your amazing work - it's SO NEEDED.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

I'm Listening,

Janice

Mountains and Valleys - Stories from Captivating

 

Hi there.  I'm Kate.  My husband went to Wild at Heart in Wales and came back having heard the Lord about who he was.  It was majestic, powerful and incredible - but it also was a time of pain.  He came back ready to live free but needing to confess again an addiction to pornography.  We have spent the last year in London and it has been hard.  I have felt so betrayed, so aware that he cannot be the answer on who I am.  But also so rescued by Jesus. 

This weekend (at Captivating) I climbed to the ridge above the rappelling course and walked along, and then slid down into the valley.  Since then Jesus has given me the most vivid picture of me dressed in white, holding on around his waist galloping along the ridge-line. He takes me over many mountains, each valley more amazing, and then into the throne room, where I run to meet my father, who runs to meet me and rejoices over me. 

I am so blessed to know him like this, Jesus and my father, and I am so thankful for your faithfulness.  It has really felt like we, as a couple, have been able to come under your authority and teaching and it has been such a huge deal for us, especially having left our church at home and are just beginning to be known and loved in London.

Thank you for your faithful work!

-- Kate